I am so sorry to hear about your grief. Losing a family member, close friend or co-worker can be life changing for many people. There are many stages of grieving and when you can't move from one stage to another your are considered "stuck" by professionals who help people who have experienced a loss. The key is to help the person who is "stuck" to move on to a stage of acceptance and be able to experience joy again in their life.
It sounds that you may be one of the people who have experienced a loss and are feeling that you can't move on to another stage or that you are indeed "stuck". I would highly recommend that you talk to a professional grief counselor. They are trained to be excellent listeners and advisers to help you through this difficult period of your life. With the help of a counselor you will once again find pleasure in normal day activities and strive for trying new experiences. You will find what counselors call, " A new normal."
If you cannot afford a private counselor ask at your church, synagogue, local health clinic, local college (counseling program) or your physician / local hospital for information about counseling services that are either free or have a sliding fee scale. Often hospitals will host groups to help survivors. Meeting others who have experienced loss may help you to know you are not alone and also to learn how to become "unstuck" by hearing others tell their stories.
It is also possible, that this loss is compounded by depression. I am adding a website about depression and if you feel that you may have these symptoms please discuss them with a physician or a counselor, as well.
There are several good books to help with personal loss. Ask a librarian to recommend one for you. A hospital counselor who helps survivors may be able to loan you books or pamphlets, as well.
I know that this is a very dark time in your life I hope that you find the help you so desperately need and that you again are able to find joy and laughter in your life in lieu of sorrow and tears.
Please let us know how you are doing in the months to come.
I wish you well and hope you find happiness once again, very soon.
Cooping with death of a loved one is challenging and usually takes a lot of time. You didn't mention the circumstances and I think it makes a difference.
When a friend of mine died I decided that I'll celebrate their life rather then be in misery over their death (That was hard because he died young in line of duty)
Few friends got together and shared life stories and listened to music that we all enjoyed. I would want my friends and family do the same for me.
Death is part of life, it touch all of us sooner or later. We need to accept it (Easier said then done)