We have a 10 yr. old son, who has always been hard to handle.  He is adhd, takes meds.  and is VERY smart. Extremely headstrong, enjoys making friends only with thugs and seems that his only goal is to be one too.  we do not allow him to hang with them. He does so at school. Although difficult we were always able to deal with the issues successfully.  Not anymore!  NO punishment or rewards work for but a short time.  I have mental health issues as well and at times am only hanging on by a thread.  I can not deal with his open defiance,and refusal to cooperate, disrespect and sometimes cruelty to animals and violence.  Please help!! Are there any schools for his age you could recommend, what can I do to help him and myself control ourselves?Is there a live in facility in our area that would be helpful for his issues?