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LadyBug92454
LadyBug92454 asks:
Q:

My grandson may be a victim of bullying in school, what can I do to help him?

In Topics: Bullying and teasing
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Jun 14, 2012
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What the Expert Says:

This is a difficult one.  Bullying is a very complicated problem and there are no quick and easy solutions to deal with it.  One of the best things you can do for your grandson is simply listen to him and empathize with what he is going through.  Sometimes people who are bullied feel incredibly alone and like nobody out there understands.  Ask him about it, explore how he feels by asking questions, and tell him you are sorry he is going through this and that you understand that it must be incredibly hard and frustrating.

Another thing you can do with him is problem solve the situation by asking him what he thinks he could do to get it to change.  You can also offer suggestions yourself, but be sure to not set it up like if he does this one thing than all the bullying will suddenly stop.  There is no magic in stopping bullying and some days you may find a way to stop it and some days it may be a real struggle.  What is important is finding the strength to continue to try things continuously.  Also encourage him to report to his school what is going on.  They will not be able to help if they do not know what is going on and often bullies are experts at not bullying when teachers are looking.  If he is scared that it will make things worse, see if he will either make an anonymous report (write a note out, but don't sign his name) or ask if you can make a report for him.  If the bullying is severe and you are worried for his safety at school, you may have to make a report whether he wants you to or not.

Also try to set him up to have more good times if the time he spends at school is hard.  Find a church group, club sport, or after group activity where he can be around kids who accept and support him.  These sort of things can be lifesavers.  Sometimes focusing on creating more good times is easier and more effective than simply focusing on eliminating the bad times.  

We wish you luck and hope you can have a great discussion with your grandson.  Also be sure to speak with his parents as well.  They may be able to provide additional support!

Counselor, Dominic
Boys Town National Hotline-A Resource for Parents and Teens
1-800-448-3000
www.parenting.org

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Additional Answers (3)

JamielaIsmail
JamielaIsmail , Teacher writes:
I agree with the expert on being supportive. however, that does not always solve the problem.  i do suggest that you speak to his teacher, and she can address bullying as a whole to the class - this tends to help to an extent.  document the days when the bullying happens, try to get hold of the bully's mom and have a meeting with the principal, yourself and the mom to discuss ways to prevent it from happening again. if this does not work then approach the school board and then the police as a last resort.  your grandson should be in an environment that is safe and has a right to be protected from such bad elements.  if you let it go, then you are helping that bully to become a rotten egg in society who then will do worse things to others.  BULLYING MUST BE STOPPED AT ALL COST.
> 60 days ago

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hockeymom58
hockeymom58 writes:
The advice you received is great but most of all don't give up on him and let him feel like a victim. My son was bullied all through high school and I never knew. He told what made it tolerable was support from his friends and us reinforcing he was a great kid.
> 60 days ago

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liebeanns
liebeanns writes:
Talk to the teacher and principal right away. The last time my daughter got bullied, who tried to be nice to the bully, thinking the bully must be going difficulties at home. When the bully physically hurt my girl, the vice-principal said it was my girls own fault to try to solve the issue herself. So please, talk to the teacher and principal about what you are worry about. Teachers should have a good idea of the situation. good luck
> 60 days ago

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