kaushalp asks:

How do i handle orthodoxy and high expectations of my parents??

I am a 15 year old boy who scores on an average 90% marks. Yet my parents insist that I do not put in enough hard work and that I should be scoring at least 96% to top the charts at school. I shall soon be appearing for my board exams and i m already feeling tired and stressed out.
Besides, I am also not allowed to hang out with friends, call them up(unless it something related to studies), read novels, play games on the PC....there is nothing I am allowed to do just because they don't think its necessary!
Most of the time when I return home from school mom is in the mood to get me started with studies. It is so depressive!
Please help! I understand that they want me to be successful in life...but living every single day with high expectations and no recreation to refresh and brighten your spirits- that's very difficult.
I do not have any close friend whom I can share things with...the ones I have are just classmates. My entire family is orthodox so there is no cousin or relative either who can help.
Sometimes I ask my parents if I can invite a friend over for studies or maybe I could go over to their place... but they always refuse. I really do not know what to do. The pressure of their expectations and the closed environment at home is really getting to me. I am very lonely. Please help!
In Topics: School and Academics, Motivation and achievement at school, Teen issues
> 60 days ago



Dec 26, 2013
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What the Expert Says:


Please consider using your school counselor as a "go-between" to help discuss this very sensitive matter with our parents.

Good luck!

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Additional Answers (1)

TeacherandP... writes:
You're not allowed to spend time with your cousins? What about friends from shul? Does your school ever assign group projects?

What do your parents do to relax? Do they ever listen to music or read? Do they have friends? What about the children of their friends becoming friends of yours?

There are some novels written by orthodox writers - Chaim Potok would be one. What about Issac Bashevis Singer? Or Sholom Alechiem? Singer and Alechiem's works have been translated into English and Potok wrote in English.

You say your classmates at school are just classmates - but if you could spend some time with them, would they become friends? Do you have a teacher at school that you could talk to about this?

What about volunteer work? Remind them of the meaning of Tikkum H'Olam - the need to rebuild the world and perhaps find a place where you could do some volunteer work on the weekends or after school.
> 60 days ago

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