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germbuster
germbuster asks:
Q:

How do I handle a parent of my little girl's friend that lies about everything?

She is the parent to my little girl's friend. I put a Christmas card in her mailbox, called and told her to get it out b/c it was raining that day.  Talked w/ her later that night and asked her what did she think of the picture?  She said I loved it, then I told her I would put a coupon in her mailbox the next morning. When I did the card was in the mailbox soaking wet, she had never gotten it out.  
Member Added on Jan 13, 2010
I haven't talk with this mother since this little incident, she has been avoiding me, because she knows she was wrong.  I chose just to let it go and to keep my distance from this mother.
In Topics: Friendships and peer relationships
> 60 days ago

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Answers (1)

dgraab
dgraab , Parent writes:
Hi, I understand how your feelings would be hurt by what happened. If your daughter is close to this friend and you expect you will have many more interactions with this parent, consider discussing the matter with the mother. Let her know what you observed and how you felt about it, without generalizing ("you lie about everything") and without judging her ("you're a liar"). She may or may not apologize, and she may or may not explain why she told you she loved the card and yet it was left in the mailbox and got wet. You can only control your actions, not hers. If you don't like how your gift was received, you can choose to communicate this, or let it go. You can choose to stop giving cards, coupons, etc. to the mother, or you can continue to give gifts to her without expecting anything in return (including the expectation that she'll appreciate the gift).

Remember also that you are a role model for your daughter. How you handle conflict with your peers sets an example for her as well. Here are some resources on Education.com for helping children resolve conflict, which are good reminders for adults too...

Saying Sorry: Helping Children Solve Conflicts
http://www.education.com/magazine/article/helping-children-solve-conflicts/

Problem Solving or Conflict Resolution
http://www.education.com/reference/article/problem-solving-conflict-resolution/

Types of Children's Conflicts
http://www.education.com/reference/article/types-childrens-conflicts/

Conflict Resolution For Kids
http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Conflict_Resolution/

I hope this is helpful to you.
> 60 days ago

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