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Alan_soto
Alan_soto asks:
Q:

How can I handle this stress that my parents give me ?

My mom is so confusing. She wants me to do something at home & help her but when I ask her if I can help , she always says , " no , go do something " or gets mad & tells me that I don't know how to do the chore. Also, when I feel sick , I'm scared to tell her now because everytime she assumes other things. If I tell her that my head & stomach hurts , she says that the reason my head hurts is because I don't eat my 3 meals. She assumes that when i'm with my friends , that I don't eat lunch. She's wrong. Another reason is that she thinks I have a stomach ache because either I "don't" eat or when I eat spicy food , which was like a month ago. She always brings these really weird reasons. I'm just like , "Since when did you become a doctor ?".
We ALWAYS argue. If I have a point , she shuts me up. But , if she has the point, I have to listen to her "old days" stories. She won't shut up , & mumbles a lot to herself because I was right. She doesn't understand me at all. I keep telling her that we are not in those old days. This is the 21st century not the 1980's. Like right now , I hear her yelling at my younger sister that told her that she felt bad & her throat hurt. My mom is assuming that the hot cheetos caused it & that we never learn our lesson & that We annoy her when we tell her that we don't feel good. My sister doesn't eat spicy food at ALL! There is More worse things that are driving me CRAZY !!
In Topics: Teen issues, Children and stress
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Mar 1, 2014
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What the Expert Says:

Remember that it takes two people to argue.  If you are tired of arguing with your mother, try taking another approach.  Try talking to her in a calm voice about how you feel about her comments when you are not feeling well.  When you hear her voice starting to raise, when you feel yourself getting frustrated and say something you may regret...then take a break.  Stop and count to ten, take some deep breaths and tell your mom that you need to talk with her about this later when you are both calm, and excuse yourself to another room if you have to.

Another option is to write or e-mail your mom a letter about how you feel.  Give it to her before you go to school or at another time when she can read the letter when she is alone.  Parents usually take letters more seriously because they are calmer and not in the middle of a heated argument, and they are thinking clearer when they read.

If you feel she won't listen, then ask your school counselor or school social worker to meet with her. Or, talk to another trusted adult such as a pastor or another family member who could be your advocate and help your mom understand how you feel.
 
Please give our Hotline a call if you want to talk things over with a counselor.  You can also check out our website for teens:  www.yourlifeyourvoice.org

Take care,

Chris, Counselor

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Additional Answers (1)

Boys Town National Hotline
Remember that it takes two people to argue.  If you are tired of arguing with your mother, try taking another approach.  Try talking to her in a calm voice about how you feel about her comments when you are not feeling well.  When you hear her voice starting to raise, when you feel yourself getting frustrated and say something you may regret...then take a break.  Stop and count to ten, take some deep breaths and tell your mom that you need to talk with her about this later when you are both calm, and excuse yourself to another room if you have to.

Another option is to write or e-mail your mom a letter about how you feel.  Give it to her before you go to school or at another time when she can read the letter when she is alone.  Parents usually take letters more seriously because they are calmer and not in the middle of a heated argument, and they are thinking clearer when they read.

If you feel she won't listen, then ask your school counselor or school social worker to meet with her. Or, talk to another trusted adult such as a pastor or another family member who could be your advocate and help your mom understand how you feel.
 
Please give our Hotline a call if you want to talk things over with a counselor.  You can also check out our website for teens:  www.yourlifeyourvoice.org

Take care,

Chris, Counselor
48 days ago

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