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aworld
aworld asks:
Q:

Any ideas of what to do when the school adminstrators won't do anything about a persistent bully? I, along with other parents are at our wits end

My 5 year old son was bullied right in front of me and a couple other parents today and I am absolutely frustrated. The other parents and I stopped the situation while it was occuring by telling the child to stop, but we are very concerned with how this bully is being handled. To give you a little bit of a background, I volunteer at my son's school on a weekly basis in his classroom at the request of his teacher & the first day I was in the class, several children came to me and told me about a child who has choked them, hit them, kicked them, etc. I knew right away who this child was because my son has come home everyday since the first day complaining about a boy who always hurts his (my son's) friends. I have seen the teacher struggling to handle this child several times while I volunteer, but nothing seems to be working and after witnessing what I did today with my son I realized something absolutely has to be done to stop this child from continuously bullying other children. Another parent who witnessed the incident today and I went to talk to the teacher but she was unavailable so I talked with another teacher about it and she informed me that this wasn't the first time my son had been bullied by this child and I am absolutely livid about the fact that I wasn't notified about the previous times. That teacher recommended that we go to the principal so we did just that. (See below comment for rest of story)
In Topics: Bullying and teasing
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Oct 24, 2011
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What the Expert Says:

Hello,

It looks as though you have received some good advice up to this point. We hope you are getting the support you need to move forward and possibly try to make some changes in your school's policies on bullying and put downs.

In the meantime, you can call our Hotline if you feel you need extra parenting support. Our crisis counselors are available 24 hours everyday to help parents and kids of all ages. We also have a website and resources for parents who are dealing with issues such as bullying, behavior problems and other issues. Since your son is Autistic, you may consider getting involved in a local support group for parents. We have a large national data base of services from which we give referrals if you are needing this type of support.

Best wishes to you and your son. Take care and let us know if we can help again!

Sincerely,

Cynthia, Counselor
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000
hotline@boystown.org
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Additional Answers (6)

aworld
aworld writes:
(Continued from question)

The other parent and I went to the principal and explained the situation only to get the response "We will take care of it, this has been an ongoing situation." My question is if this has been an ongoing situation, why hasn't it been taken care of already? After talking with my son more about the situation tonight and the other parent talking to her children about it, we found out that this is an everyday occurrence not just with my son being bullied, but several of their classmates being bullied by the same child (including the other parent's child that is in the same class). We are absolutely frustrated because my son and the other parent's son are both very good children and neither of them have done anything back to the bully even when they were getting physically harmed. Any ideas on the next steps we can take to prevent our children and the other children from being victimized by this child? Also, the other parent's children both told her that when they tell on this child that they get in trouble for tattle telling which upsets me even more. Both the other parent and I have told our children to tell the bully to "stop" and to go straight to the teacher, but if nothing is being done about it, what can we do as parents? I was terrified in the first place about my son going to school because he is autistic and I was worried about him being bullied for that but I have been finding out that his autism isn't even affecting his schooling. Ugh! Sorry this is so long, but I am so frustrated over it so any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance
> 60 days ago

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janetsnyc
janetsnyc writes:
I had the same issue with my son's old school.  I went through the chain of command: teacher, vice-principal, principal.  None of them did much of anything except for in school suspension for the other kid, and blamed m son for him being bullied.  I went to the Board of Superintendent of the school district and quoted a few penal codes, voila!!  Problem solved.  
The following year, I transferred my son to a local private school, it's a struggle but it's worth the sacrifice.
> 60 days ago

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RockUrConfidence
RockUrConfi... writes:
Hi,

I run a company that raises self esteem in children as well as help children deal with bullys . If you went to the principle and they do nothing, I would try these things below.

Write a letter to the Principal of the school.  Write a letter to the Principal after each incident of  harassment. (Keep a copy in your file)

Write letters to School Board Members.  Write letters to Board members separately and after each incident of harassment.  (Keep a copy in your file)

Write a letter to the Superintendent.  Write a letter to the Superintendent after each incident of harassment.  (Keep a copy in your file)

Go to the School Board meeting and speak out.  It is not just your child that you are thinking about, but also all the other children who are harassed and have parents who will not, or do not know how, to speak for them.

Write multiple letters to your State Representatives (The State Senate and House Education Committee).  Tell them what is happening in your school and how your Administrators are handling your child's case.

Write a letter to each member of the Education Committee separately and after each incident of harassment.  (See the BullyPolice.org website to see if your laws, policies or codes are listed)

Write a letter to the Editor of your local newspaper.  Do not embarrass your child with details, but write instead about your schools lack of response for harassed students in general.

If nothing else works consider going to the television stations.  Bullying can be very dangerous and taxpayers have a RIGHT to know what is going on in their local schools.  Voters also have a right to know what their candidates for the school board believe and if they will support and vote for good common sense anti bullying policies.

Bullying is such a horrible thing, and if you school doesn't have a bully policy in place you need to pressure them to do so. This will effect them even later in life.

Sincerely,
Carolyn
> 60 days ago

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sorba
sorba writes:
Take action, even if this means getting a lawyer. If the school is not doing anything to stop bullying they the school can be held liable for the damage (emotional, physical) to your child. I would look over the districts procedures on bullying and see why these steps are not being put into action.
> 60 days ago

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Sophieollie
Sophieollie writes:
I would definitely follow-up with the principal and ask specifically what is being done at the school to address this situation.  I am a public school teacher and there are guidelines that schools must follow when bullying incidents are reported.  The vary slightly from school district to school district, but at the minimum the incident and the action taken by the school administration must be documented.  Most schools have a "no tolerance" policy when it comes to bullying issues.
> 60 days ago

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jadenmccoy
jadenmccoy , Student writes:
If your solution doesn't work then you need to go to the school board and raise your complaint. There should be zero tolerance for bullying!
> 60 days ago

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