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Anonymous
Anonymous asks:
Q:

Is it appropriate to invite some of my child's classmates to her birthday party without inviting others?

Our daughter is in second grade, and would like to invite her favorite classmates to her birthday party. Unfortunately, we can't afford to invite all of the children, as we have a large group of friends outside of the classroom/school who are likewise invited (and who have already RSVP'd yes). My daughter is so excited about her party that she's been talking about it at school, and (unfortunately) already told three of her classmates that she would invite them. I'm concerned about how this will make the other children feel, and how her teacher will feel about it as well. I've asked my daughter to stop inviting classmates, and to stop bragging about the party at school, but wonder how to proceed with the three already verbally invited. I suspect they will talk about the party afterward and it will hurt the feelings of others, or cause jealousy.

What would you do in this situation? Should we rescind the three verbal invites, explaining that we can't invite all and don't want to hurt anyone's feelings who can't come? Please advise!
In Topics: My Relationship with my child's school, Friendships and peer relationships, Family fun / holiday celebrations
> 60 days ago

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laurenf
Feb 11, 2010
Level

Best Answer!

what's this?
from a fellow member
I think it's very reasonable to invite some of her classmates and not all. I'm sure there have been other birthday parties this year other parents have thrown which have included only certain children from the class. At that age some children might feel jealous or hurt about not being invited, but I think this would be a great opportunity for those parents to teach their kids that they cannot always get what they want. And hopefully they'll also reason with their child and conclude if it makes sense they should have been invited based on how close they are to your daughter. Finally, I'd wager the children not invited will forget all about not being invited in a week or two; or when the next birthday party rolls around.

Once the party occurs, I would talk to your daughter again about being modest when describing her party with friends and classmates.

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Additional Answers (2)

mamiflores91
mamiflores91 writes:
In our school...we have to invite all the students to the party. If we give invitations to any student in the class,we have to give one to all in the class.It's not to say that all will come,it's just so that there are no hurt feelings. You have to remember that these are children & you don't want anybody feeling hurt because they were left out.
> 60 days ago

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ilovechefwilliam
ilovechefwi... , Teacher, Caregiver writes:
I know that in my schools the teacher can help in this situation.  At the first of the year most teachers tell students that they can not bring invites to school, unless they invite everyone.  If the student does not plan to invite everyone they are asked to deliver invites before or after school.  I do not think there is anything wrong with not inviting everyone.  Good luck!
> 60 days ago

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