Hi Mom,
This answer that I am going to write you is not an easy one. It will come under the category of "tough love". In order for it to work you MUST get Dad on the same page or else it will fail. Here it is; you cook for her what she is supposed to eat, not want she wants to eat. If she does not eat your meal then nothing else the rest of the day, evening or whenever. She wills more than likely cry or act out. That€™s time for a "time out". If you can get through the melt down, I would say your "home free". Trust me, when she gets hungry enough she WILL EAT what you make for her. Consistency Mom. You must be consistent. These children are smart and they know every button to push you over. Can you do it? Are you smarter than a five year old? I know you are! Good Luck. Keep me posted.

Barbara Antinoro
Educational Counselor
Kid Angel Foundation
Education.com team

Hi Mother101,

I understand how frustrating this is.  Getting good food into my two kids has always been my biggest parenting challenge.  My son was recently diagnosed as Lactose intollerant too (he's also 5).  It was really scary for me because he eat's very little meat so dairy foods (milk, cheese, yogurt, etc) are really his primary source of protein.  

I was happy to discover that there are LOTS of soy and rice versions of the foods he eats and he liked them as well, or better, than the cow milk versions.  If you go to Whole Foods grocery stores you can ask someone to help you find the soy products.  There's soy milk (my son liked the vanilla flavor better than the chocolate), soy yogurt, soy butter, soy and rice cheeses, even soy ice cream and soy whipped cream.   The rest of our family has started eating some of the soy things (like the butter) because they're so much healthier.

Another idea is to try "sneaking" good foods to your daughter.  This website has a column called "Sneaky Chef" (http://www.education.com/magazine/column/Sneaky_Chef/)  She has lots of great Recipes for Your Family that my kids love (and they don't know they're eating veggies!).

I agree with Barbara from Kid Angel that you have to work with her dad to stop the fast food.  It really is kind of addictive.  Kids get used to all that salt and fat and then all other foods taste bland to them.  I know it takes longer to make meals at home but it's really worth it.  (And there are lots of things you can make ahead on weekends, freeze, and then just pop in the microwave at dinner time).

Please let us know how you're all doing!

Kat
Education.com Community Team

Hello,

A lactose-free diet does not need to be dairy-free!  There is lactose-free milk, cream cheese, and sour cream that you can use to prepare your child's favorite dishes.  Also, lactose-free individuals may tolerate a certain amount of lactose.  Since it varies for everybody, you need to find out how much your child can tolerate without having symptoms.

There is a new cookbook for lactose-free people with a variety of great recipes, many kid-friendly!  It's available at http://www.cookinglactosefree.com.

Also, read my article on lactose intolerance on my website.  Good luck!

To reiterate, as Dr. Yankus notes, lactose intolerance does NOT cause constipation.  In fact, if anything, inability to absorb lactose will lead to loose bowel movements.  However lactose intolerance is not very common (it does occur) in this age group, and when it does, it leads to stomach cramps, bloating, gassiness, and loose stools (and rarely sometimes vomiting if it's really bad).  By now, at least a couple of months later, you have eliminated lactose intolerance as the cause and either have reintroduced milk and dairy products back into her diet or have good calcium and vitamin D alternatives as suggested by Dr. Yankus.  
In addition to the diet measures described previously, your pediatrician can prescribe fiber and other very safe alternatives (e.g., glycolax) to help soften the bowel movements.
Several web sites give information that is relevant (below)

Both of my children suffered from chronic constipation and more fiber, plenty of fluids and physical activity really did the trick.  Experiment with fruits, veggies and nuts if you can.  Some of my kids' favorite treats included:  granola loaded with dried fruits, baked kale chips, roasted asparagus, nectarines - try drizzling with a touch of honey or agave nectar if your child won't eat it plain, roasted almonds, and grilled artichokes with basil aioli.  We used 100% fruit juices warmed up and diluted with water, and when things got really bad, we added a cap full of mineral oil.  Miralax works well, too, and is flavorless so you can add it to any beverage.  Talk to your child's pediatrician or gastroenterologist about options that will work best for you.  Good luck!