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LadyMac
LadyMac asks:
Q:

When should i except that my marriage is over?

My husband have this need for complete solitude and because he doesn't have it, he is unable to focus on studying and is losing sleep. I know that he loves me and my daughter and he says that he want to be with me and don't want to live his life without me but he cant get over the feeling of needing to be alone. Outside of this issue, we have a great marriage. We both work well together and get alone great. He has very high respect for me and cherish me as his wife. He reached out to get help so that he can understand why he is feeling that way. I think its great that he reached out first because it shows that he care. He agreed to get marriage counseling so that we can find balance but then he career is now put on the line. Basically he has 30 days to get it together or he will lose his career. So he made the decision that we need to divorce so that he can save his career. I'm destroyed because i know that with help we can work through this but the time is against us. we still have an appt next we and he says that he is going to go (even though he already stated that the decision is made). He is current staying in a hotel. Is my marriage over or not. I need help.
In Topics: Blended families
> 60 days ago

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Expert

ShirleyCressDudley
Dec 26, 2013
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What the Expert Says:

I'm sorry you are going through this. Yes- if you can both get counseling together- it's ideal. Your husband also may need some individual counseling. If his workplace provides this- then access counseling through them.

It's possible to be married and still have alone time, every day. This is a scheduling issue.  Please seek help and get counseling for both of you together. A marriage should have alone time, along with couple time, and family time.

It is possible.

I wish you the very best.


Kindest Regards,

Shirley Cress Dudley, MA LPC NCC FACMPE
Founder and Executive Director of The Blended and Step Family Resource Center

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Additional Answers (2)

mitithoerth
mitithoerth writes:
I'm really feeling very bad about you,, see getting divorced is not only the solution but I would suggest that without getting divorced you may also sort out the problem like you both can meet together after every week or a month. I hope this works.

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tranlaiitdlu
tranlaiitdlu writes:
I've been a single mom for 4 years. I have 5 children ages 10,9,8,7,&5.  My boyfriend has 3 children of his own that he sees every weekend. We have a wonderful relationship, full of love. We do live together. Last night out of the blue my 10 year old called him daddy. I think we were both equally shocked. Their biological father has not been involved with them since the divorce. Is this okay for them to do? My boyfriend said that she is obviously comfortable calling him this and that he is fine with it. I'm just not sure if this is acceptable.
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