My mom found out I cut, and now she seems really upset with me. I feel even worse now. What do I do?
She came to pick me up from school because I had a hair ap., and I was brushing my hair out and she saw my wrist. All she did was say "Why in gods name would you do that? What is wrong with you??" Of course I didn't get explain to her my problems, no teenager would. But now she is making me go to the doctor about it tomorrow and I really don't want to get any help. I don't do it often, just when I don't feel right. I will refuse to say anything about it to anyone. Now I feel worse than ever, and I just don't know what to do about it. Its not my moms fault or anybody's fault but mine, and I don't want her thinking she did something wrong. I'd rather just forget about it and leave my problems and feelings to myself, but she thinks otherwise. Its SOO embarrassing, and she has already told my grandma and brothers about it saying "Oh yeah my daughter cuts herself now". How can I tell her to just leave me alone about it? I'm independent and get mad easily if something happens I don't like. If I could get a job and a house I'd live alone. I am not like an "emo" kid, I take care of myself and at school I am just like any other kid. I'm in marching band and choir, and make good grades. Why does she even worry about it in the first place? They aren't bad cuts, just a like a bunch of scratches and drawings of things I had done. I know its like a "Motherly" thing but really I just want to be alone. Go to school, go to sleep, repeat.Why can't she just leave me alone? I'm 14 if that helps.
Maybe your mom didn't respond in the way that you had wished but at the same time, she may not fully understand the whole idea behind your cutting. We understand that you cut to feel or numb yourself and keeping those scars hidden might empower you. But now it's out in the open and it is a great chance to help your mom understand you.
If you can find a time that you and mom can sit and talk, you can explain to her that you feel this is a private matter and wished that she didn't tell everyone she talks with. Explain to her why you cut. Help her understand. She most likely won't leave you alone because she is a mom. Whether they are bad cuts or scratches, they will scar and those are hard to hide forever. Talk about why you cut and get the support to help you find other ways to release the feelings you have. Being alone with your feelings all of the time isn't the healthiest way to deal with life. Isolation isn't fun and can cause you to overthink everything. Reach out and talk through it.
Boys Town National Hotline