Marebear , Student asks:

My mom is depressed that she is losing her job. How can I help her?

I really  need advice on how to help her relax. Im giving her a pampering day and for 2 hours im going to massage her, but what about the rest of the time?
In Topics: Parenting / Our Family, Motherhood
> 60 days ago



Aug 30, 2010
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What the Expert Says:

What a sweet and thoughtful daughter you are! I think it is wonderful that you are working hard to support your mom through this difficult time. Your ideas for helping her to relax are very nice (and luxurious!). A two-hour massage! Wow! Here are a couple of additional ideas:

1. Sometimes folks who have recently lost a job feel discouraged by the idea of entering the job market again. Help your mom gain some confidence by sharing some ideas for how she can get started with her job search. There are plenty of books and resources online for individuals to get advice on updating their resume and contacting prospective employers. Visit the website of your local public library and seek out books that will likely help your mom get started. Print out the list and share it with your mom.

While you are on the internet, check to see if the library or other community agencies have job search courses. Share any information you find with your mom.

2. Give your mom ideas for relaxation techniques she can practice at home. Many people benefit from the practice of relaxation techniques that they can do at home. Some techniques include progressive muscle relaxation and deep breathing. Tips and advice for practicing these techniques are included in the article link below.

3. When people get depressed, they often become lethargic and lose motivation. Help your mom to keep moving with a light exercise regimen. Offer to go for an evening walk with her several times a week around the neighborhood or go to the nearest high school and walk the track or climb the bleachers together. By staying active, your mom will be better able to ward off sad feelings.

Finally, it is important that you listen to your mom's struggles, but it is also important that you don't take over the mothering role for your mom. If you feel like you are carrying the burden in the household, talk with a few relatives or close friends of hers to let them know that your mom needs additional support at this time and allow them take over some of the responsibility.

Good luck to you and your mom.

Warm regards,

Laura Kauffman, Ph.D.
Licensed Child Psychologist JustAsk Expert
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Additional Answers (1)

Marebear , Student writes:
Thank you so much for the ideas. I tried to get my mom in a good mood by being silly some time and it works. We know a lot pf people who get get her a job, its just that my mom is a bit stubborn and her pride gets in the way as well. The exercise idea was amazing. My middle school isn't far from my house so my mom and I started walking to the school, she tells me a couple stories from when she was a kid, the we walk back. I never would have thought of that! Thank you again for the ideas and compliments. They have been working. I couldn't have beared it any longer without your help. Thanks again.
> 60 days ago

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