novelist33 asks:

Is it normal for boys to listen to their fathers better than their mothers?

In Topics: Parenting / Our Family
> 60 days ago


Answers (1)

pigtoria writes:
Hi Novelist 33,

 In my time of doing research with children, as a preschool teacher, and always being around children now (I have a seven-year-old and I’m always at his school), I feel that children’s “listening skills” can be put into two categories:

1. Children listen to people they are most comfortable with
2. Children listen to people they are not (least) comfortable with

From hearing stories from other parents, I tend to believe that the majority of kids fall into the latter category.  Parents who have children with challenging behaviors are afraid to go to parent teacher conference in fear of the things teacher would say to them.  However, according to the teacher’s evaluation, their child is an “angel” who listens attentive and follows instructions.  Upon hearing this, the parents always needed to confirm, “are you sure you are talking about my child?” Children, like adults, love to impress other people – especially those they don’t know well.  They want to be on their best behavior to give a good impression.

I know of a child who spends 10 months out of the year with his mom and 2 months with his dad.  He is a problematic child according to his mom but he is a perfect kid when he’s with dad.  Why?  The child doesn’t know dad and he wants to impress dad.

My son is exactly the opposite.  He only listens to those he is comfortable with so teachers always have a hard time with him in the beginning.  My son is a perfect child with me so when teachers tell me he is a challenging child, I always replied “give it a couple a weeks.”  

So, is it normal for boys to listen to their fathers better than their mothers? – it all depends on which category your boys fall into, what kind of relationship you have with your boys, and whether you and your husband have the same parenting and discipline style.  In general, children tend to “get along” better with the parent who is more lenient.  To be an effective parent and to have a good relationship with your child, it’s best to know who and how your children are and the best way to communicate with them.

Hope this helps!

> 60 days ago

Did you find this answer useful?
Answer this question


You are about to choose ${username}'s answer as the best answer.

Cancel | Continue

*You can change the best answer in the future if you think that you received a better answer

How likely are you to recommend to your friends and colleagues?

Not at all likely
Extremely likely