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chrash3
chrash3 asks:
Q:

As a parent how do you deal with your child who bullies the teacher.

My daughter is the model child at home. She does what is expected of her and I very rarely have to get on her about much. So when I go to a parent teacher conference I am floored to find out my daughter bullies the teacher. I am told she gives verbal attacks to get laughs from her peers. Needless to say I was totally ashamed of her behavior and apologised repeatedly. This behavior is certainly not how we have raised her. When I confronted her on the matter all I got from her was this "deer caught in the headlight" stir. I told her this is not acceptable and she needed to apologize to her teacher. I also took away many of her privileges until I meet with her teacher again to evaluate the situation again. Is that enough? I am now trying to figure out beyond getting laughs, why she has done this and is it happening to others. I've always tried to be attentive to her and what's going on with her and to hear this about her has left me with a lot of questions. I'm starting to feel like this person I'm raising is a total stranger to me.
In Topics: Working with my child's teacher(s), Learning issues and special needs, Bullying and teasing
> 60 days ago

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Expert

LouiseSattler
Sep 15, 2012
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What the Expert Says:

First let me commend you for being brave and honest about your daughter's bullying of her teacher.  Not many parents would admit to this situation or ask for help.

I believe your consequences were quite appropriate.  The key may be to go one step or two further.

My suggestion would be to have the whole family investigate bullying situations, programs and consequences.

Here are some links to learn more about Bullying:

http://www.Jaylenschallenge.org  One young boy takes on bullying by putting an innovative program in to schools.

This teacher had an innovative and effective idea: http://tinyurl.com/8vc3fqq

Help for parents, kids and educators:  http://www.MicheleBorba.com and http://www.AnnieFox.com

You may also want to be sure that your daughter is not being bullied herself and using this as a way to deflect from her own situation.

Best wishes and we wish all easier times ahead.

Louise Sattler, Psychologist
Signingfamilies.com
@LouiseASL




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Additional Answers (2)

BMelton
BMelton , Teacher writes:
Your daughter is seeking atttention from others. Unfortunately, her attention-getting is negative. The consequences you have given her for her behavior are appropriate and need to include what behaviors are required for her to gain privileges and the length of time for the restrictions. I would also suggest working with the teacher to reinforce good behavior in class. A solution-focused approach involves your daughter making decisions about her behavior would make the situation better. For example, "I will be respectful to the teacher." "I will be the leader in class by being a positive role model for my peers."
  
Not knowing her age or grade level, I would suggest that you also speak to the counselor for some guidance on what activities would help her gain confidence and find attention from other in a positive way.
> 60 days ago

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destiny125
destiny125 writes:
Children need to learn from their mistakes and this is a good example. I as a kid never payed lots of attention and got not very good grades so you should take her privileges and more make her write sentences and more you are doing a good job, keep it up.
> 60 days ago

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