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idkwhatnametoput
idkwhatname... asks:
Q:

My Parents Put Too Much Pressure On Me, Seriously

Ok first of all, this isnt a "my parents put too much pressure on me for my grades" kind of situation. I get straight a's and I play music and am good with people and everything. Not to be self-centered but I believe I am a well-rounded person and I think I can do anything I want to in life. My parents are striving for me to become a specific profession in medicine, but Im not sure what I want to do. Everything in my life has been geared towards this profession and I am finally realizing that life is too short to do what other ppl want me to do. If I go against my parents wishes Ill get thrown out of the house. Every time my family gets together they discuss exactly how Im going to get into med school and support the entire family. They compare me to other kids who say they're going to do something then dont, just so i know that if i go against what they say then Im pathetic. They tell me how this is what i should do and it would be "f***ing stupid" if i werent to do it. They tell me they have no retirement fund and basically imply how everything is riding on me to succeed. Dont get me wrong, Im not a lazy person. I want to truly succeed in life, however I dont believe I want to do what they're saying. I feel like if I make that commitment, I will regret it for the rest of my life. At the same time if I dont do it and I try to do something I love, and if it doesnt work out where I cant support my entire family, then everything my parents worked for will be for nothing. Im 16.
In Topics: Teen issues, Children and stress
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Apr 17, 2014
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What the Expert Says:

Hey,

Parents can definitely create high expectations for their children.  Often times this is because they didn't fullfill their own life expectations.  Sounds like you have realized that the medical field might not be for you, or at least you haven't been given the space to find out what is for you.

Maybe you could comprimise with them.  You will keep the medical track in mind, but will also be exploring other options to see if there is a better fit for you.  Most people don't know what they want to be when they grow up.  Some teens go into college with one idea and come out with a completely different career course.  You shouldn't be expected to know exactly what you want right now.

Since you are still in high school it might be a good idea to start looking into different programs at schools you are interested.  That could help you get an idea of what different majors are offered.  Then you could pick up some hobbies or part time job to work in a field that you think you might be interested in for a career.

Your parents took care of you and you will most likely take care of them when they need you, but that does not mean you are financially responsible for them.  Every person is responsible for themselves.  If they are worried about their financial future then they should start saving now.  You are not responsible to ensure they are set up in the near future.

It can be hard to stand up to your parents and let them know how you really feel. It you need support in the future, please don't hesitate to reach out to the counselors at the website below.

Jenna, Counselor
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