How can I help my teen son with his relationship problem?

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Gotcha asks:

Good day.

I need help as I am in a sitsuasion wherby I do not know what to do. My son and his girlfriend are involve now 9 months. The love each other very much and do everything together. On Monday the father of the girl phoned my son and said that he can no longer see his daughter anymore as they are family. I was informed when they were involved already on 8 months that the girl's grand father is my dad's brother. I do not know as I was adopted when I was small and my mom passed away also when I was small. If it is the truth I don't know. This two kids are in a state whereby they wanna go so far as talking about commiting suiside.
I do not have the money to go and do I test as my son have asked me to do. Apparently her family knew all along that they are related family but allowed them to carry on with the relationship. I would like to know what I can do to help them in this sitsuation. You can see this too people love each other very much.
If they are family what will happen if they carry on with the relationship. They just don't want to know nothing of breaking up. And I feel so sorry for my son as he do not wanna eat or sleep. The girls dad took her to Meyerton so that they can't see each other or be with each other.
I am not in a position to do a test whereby I can proof to my son that they are related or not.
I would like the people out there to assist me in this problem as I need to know what to do. And if there is any way that I can get this test done.

In Topics: Parenting / Our Family, Teen issues

> 60 days ago

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Louiseasl

Dec 31, 2009

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What the Expert Says:

Hello and I am so sorry that your son and his girlfriend are stuck between the proverbial "rock and hard place".

FIRST- please call for immediate help for your son and his girlfriend. According to your account he is showing signs of depression and possible suicidal ideation. This means that attention to their needs should be given immediately. If you have no other resource, call the suicide hotline for your area or find one by dialing information. Do not delay.

SECOND- Explain your situation to your son's physician. It is possible that there is not a close enough genetic link for this to be an issue. This is an issue to be discussed with qualified medical personnel. Also, since you have not had any genetic evaluations yourself, being related has not been validated.

Good luck and if you can please let us know that your son has received help.

Louise Masin Sattler, NCSP
Nationally Certified School Psychologist

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Additional Answers (3)

dgraab , Parent writes:

Hi, I'm sorry to hear about the situation with your son. Please discuss this matter with your son's doctor, particularly given the severity of sadness you mentioned he has expressed. If your son doesn't have a pediatrician that he regularly sees, and if finances are an issue, contact your local health department (or emergency services) for referral to low-cost doctors or clinics. It's very important that your son gets the help he needs to recover from his sadness, and if that sadness is causing thoughts of suicide, depression and other physical ailments (including lack of appetite and sleep), he needs to see a health professional as soon as possible.

The local health department or doctor may also be able to refer you to testing resources. Consider contacting the agency that handled your adoption as well, to see if they have biological records you could access.

> 60 days ago

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