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Sadmommy
Sadmommy asks:
Q:

Should I seek rehab for my teen?

My son started smoking weed at 14, well at least that is when I caught him.  He (as well as many of you have said) says its no big deal, has read a ton on it and has an answer for everything.  And yes I know many of his answers are correct, there is still so much wrong with this!   I have so much against me, as my husband also feels he has no problem.  Don't get me wrong he is a tad concerned but thinks I have been over reacting for months and months.  I have been watching him as closely as I can, but he's home 1-2 hrs before us and even if I am home I can't lock him in the house.    Thing is his grades were all good for 1st half of the year but now they are gradually going down hill and not only that, he is losing weight, having stomach issues and headaches.  My first thought was the smoking but then I thought it maybe this girl issue?  But on top of this he is a great athlete and I'm not just thinking this as a mom, he is really great and his name was already past around prior to HS.  Now he is not so into the sports and told me that it stresses him and he's not sure if he wants to play sports any longer!   This kills me as I'm pretty sure if anything else he would have at least gotten letters from division II colleges.  But that being said it's not my life it's his so if he chose to not play I can not force him.  BUT I really think if it weren't for marijuana he wouldn't feel this way!  
Running out of space sorry continue below
In Topics: School and Academics
> 60 days ago

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Sadmommy
Sadmommy writes:
This not an answer continuing with this question.   Sorry new to site and so much on my mind!  Ugh!

Thing is with all these new changes I've grown more & more concerned & my husband is just feels I have lost my mind.  Which the other day I was feeling maybe he was right.  But then we found a huge knife, two empty zip locks & empty film container with hole punched in the top, small digital scale & two beer cans full, 2 nips, 1 full  1 empty.  I have had a strong feel his new best friend was a dealer  months ago but of course my son denied it.  Long story- but now I've been thinking maybe my son is helping dealing.  & feel that the new best friends brother who is 23 was the one that got them both into it!   After finding that crap my husband at first felt I maybe right but then told me to chill.  Next night he confronted our teen who told him it was the scale was his friends (2nd time we found scale & 2nd time he said this) friend said it was his also first time.  Then he told my husband that he is fine just likes to smoke.  I confront him & he says I'm stressing him & smokes to chill from me & just cause he likes it & bonds with friends.    He cried I cried & told him we need to try to be honest. Asked if he or his bud were dealing & he said no way and I had the kid all wrong. I actually felt little bad.   Then felt he was fairly honest as he even told me when I asked 1 time he did smoke alone but it was once.    Ok so I had to ground him as we caught him high but again this was a struggle cause my husband was fighting me.  Keeps saying I'm going to run him out of the house & even said he divorce me and take him cause I was to much on him.  Mind you both sides of our family have addiction issues & depression or anxiety!
-   Today I got my written proof that he is in fact dealing with his "friend" and his brother is part of it!!!    What do I do now! Honestly I don't even want to tell my husband yet cause i think he should go to rehab & school is almost out so I want to wait to send him.  But I may end up losing it by then.    Please help.    Trust me I know some kids can handle smoking but with all his recent issues I don't feel he is one that can.
> 60 days ago

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Wayne Yankus
Wayne Yankus writes:
You have a problem. Yes, your son needs an intervention.  He has weight loss, headaches, stomach problems, his grades are slipping, and he is lying to you, and your spouse is not fully on board.  Get help for all of you. You are still the parent and he is more now of a child.  Take control of the situation. Speak with his pediatrician if she/he is knowledgeable about what services are available to you and choose wisely.  You may need to go first for a meeting with an addiction counselor or a psychiatrist.  Tell your son of your concern and that his room is no longer confidential and get some one at home after school.  discuss sexual behavior particularly if drugs are involved.  You are not alone and this does not in anyway reflect on you or his upbringing. It is his friends or perhaps, as is often the case, he is treating his own depression over school and sports by taking weed and other drugs. consider heroin. Speak with the school nurse to see how often he comes to her office for care.  Just take the first step--it's messy, but necessary to save his life.

I will be rooting for you.

Wayne A. Yankus, MD, FAAP
expert panelist: pediatrics
> 60 days ago

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