birdmom asks:

what should I do about my son getting bullied by his cousin?

I live in the home with my husband's family and included in this is my sister-in-law and her son. My son is exactly 1 year and 10 days younger than his cousin and the two play together all the time.... the problem falls that my son gets pushed, pinched, hit, slapped, bitten, and kicked on a regular basis for no reason except that his cousin is mad about something. The cousin is 3 and there are 3 main people that have authority over him: my mother-in-law, his mother, and cousin "k". "K" and his mother both use yelling and belt whipping as punishment and the child takes out his anger on my son. i have taken to separating my son from the cousin to prevent him from getting hurt. there is nothing i can do about the cousin's behavior as he hits and is violent towards all except the 3 with authority over him, that and whenever i bring up the subject the response is to beat the cousin and then the cousin starts beating on my son because he's upset and angry for his beating. My boy is only 2 and doesn't understand why this happens. as his mother i am naturally defensive and have barred the cousin from my room to keep distance between the boys. i feel helpless because there is nothing i can do to get this child to be nice and nonviolent, i don't want him to be beaten and I'm so tired of the screaming i hear.
In Topics: Bullying and teasing
> 60 days ago



Feb 13, 2014
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What the Expert Says:

Cousin "K" isn't your kid so there may not be a whole lot you can do to influence his behavior in a pro-social direction. I feel very sad for your little nephew because he's being abused and getting so much influence pushing him in an anti-social direction. His mom and grandma need immediate help so they can learn how to effectively discipline the boy without violence and abuse. Your child's safety and well-being are your top priority. He clearly needs you to protect him from this cousin at all times. If that means no contact with K for the time being, so be it. What's going on is unacceptable and has to stop now. If you haven't already talked to your husband about this situation, do so immediately. He may have to be the one to talk to his mom and K's mother to explain why his son will no longer be playing with K until K can learn to control his aggression.
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