Children can sometimes be so cruel to other children! I'm sorry to hear that your son has had to endure bullying over such a long period of time. As you are probably aware, there is a great deal of research to show that the effects of bullying are severe. Children who are bullied tend to report more physical symptoms and have more problems with sadness and anxiety. I know that you have worked very hard on your son's behalf, but it seems that you have a significant amount of work left to do.

Many schools have clear and specific bullying policies in place. If your son's school has a bullying policy in place, work very closely to make certain that it is being implemented in your son's case. For instance, what are the steps that a "victim" should take when they are bullied? What are the consequences of bullying for the bully? Just so you know, strategies that involve a moderated meeting between the bully and the victim are ineffective. Research shows that bullying involves a power differential. Bullying is a fight where the child who bullies has some advantage or power over the child who is victimized. Thus, a moderated meeting will not be useful because moderation is only effective when you have two individuals (or groups) who are equal in power and status. If your son's school does not have a bullying policy, work with the principal to implement one.

Some issues to consider for keeping your son safe at school. All school staff and personnel should be notified when and where the bullying typically occurs, and they should be prepared to help intervene. Your son should avoid these areas if possible. Your son should be prepared with a response in the moment to keep him safe. Help him develop active (but nonviolent) strategies for managing bullying in the moment. For instance, there is research to show that children who firmly yell, "Stop!" and walk away to tell a trusted adult often dissuade future bullying. Your son should have "allies" with him at high-risk times. Children are less likely to be bullied if they are with someone else.

Work with your son to help him develop and nurture other friendships. Children who report friendships inside or outside of school are typically "protected" from many of the negative effects of bullying. Help him set up "playdates" with children after school and on weekends. Set up semi-structured activities to help facilitate the fun.

Finally, your son may want someone to talk to about his feelings about being bullied. Talk with the principal about setting up semi-regular meetings for your son to talk with the school counselor. I also included some links below, which you may find helpful.

Good luck and please keep us informed.

L. Compian, Ph.D.
Counseling Psychologist
Education.com Expert Panel