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MIKORULE1215
MIKORULE1215 asks:
Q:

My son says he's failing because his teacher hates him.  Who's side should I take?

My son is in 7th grade but failing science because he said his teacher hates him whos side should i take my son or the teacher?
In Topics: My Relationship with my child's school
> 60 days ago

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Expert

greenprof2
Feb 3, 2009
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What the Expert Says:

I've heard this before from my own kids. It isn't a question of taking sides. You need to set up a conference with his teacher and tell him/her about your son's impression and what might be done to turn the situation around. Don't ever take what your teen says about school at face value.

Michael Bentley, Expert Panelist: Science Education

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Additional Answers (6)

lravidlearner
lravidlearner , Teacher, Parent writes:
I agree with Mr. Bentley.  I'm the mother of a 6th grader and taught elementary school for several years.  

As a teacher, I see that when a student is struggling or bored they often do things that cause distractions in the classroom.  If it occurs repeatedly, I end up having negative interactions with the student that make him or her think I "hate" them.
That is a signal to me that I need to get to the root of what's causing the disruptions by meeting with the student and parent.  Occasionally, some problem at home is the cause.

 My daughter, likewise, has thought a teacher doesn't like her because she was disciplined for disrupting a class.  In her instance, I met with her teacher and my daughter and discovered she was bored and wasn't challenged enough.  Her teacher provided her more challenging material.  End of problem.

The very MOST important thing is to meet with the teacher to figure out the source of the problem.  You son may need more individualized assistance if he's struggling or more challenging work if he's bored.  Bored students become disengaged and are more likely to fail, whether they are struggling or gifted.

Please let your son know that both your teacher and you are working to support his learning.  

If you take you son's "side" against a teacher, it will not help him succeed in school and make his relationship with his teacher even worse.  In that atmosphere, it will be very difficult for your son to succeed in science.
> 60 days ago

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frustratedmomof3boys
frustratedm... writes:
I would first ask my child what makes him feel this way.  Was there somthing said or did the teacher behave a certain way to indicate that he or she may not like your child.  Then, I would schedule an appointment between you and the teacher to discuss your childs concerns.
> 60 days ago

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dianne60
dianne60 writes:
Maybe the teacher is frustrated with him
                   and dosen't want to give him her undivided
                   attention cuz he is not showing that he really
                   wants to learn.
> 60 days ago

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New'New
New'New , Student writes:
I know exactly how he feels, when I was in the 2nd and the 3rd grade I used to feel the same way that my teacher was out to get me. Really there is no sides in the matter, you can always talk to the teacher about what is going on or talk to him about the problem; mostly sometimes it is that the teacher gives another student more attention than he or that he just does like the teacher, so this promblem will go away. I went through this when, I was in the 2nd and 3rd grade, but when in this situation, always take your childs side until you are completely sure that there is really nothing wrong, you need to show him that you will back him up on anything he says as long as he is giving you the WHOLE truth in the matter.

-New'New
> 60 days ago

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mylifemarg
mylifemarg writes:
My son is failing Math, Spanish, and English because the kids make fun of him and the teacher add on to what the kids do. There are times when my son is afraid of going because let say they make fun of him on Monday for an example, and Tuesday he refuses to go because he know the kids are going to do it again. So when he goes back on Wednesday all they say is, are you feeling better. And that is it. But if he did go on Tuesday then the would not say anything nice. There is something else that is strange, the school is not admitting it, but someone on the faculty report child protection service saying that My sister, my husband and I is neglecting and abusing my son. Two weeks ago when my son came home on a Friday, he said child services was there asking question to only him. Then last Tuesday they came to the house. So of course I had know problem with talking to them, or even giving any doctors information, because deep down I know my family member and I, are perfectly innocent. So to answer this question I say,  I would always pick my son side, because he is in school and you are not. He should know whether or not his feeling are hurt. And failing is a sign that you know someone his hurting his feeling that is why he cant concentrate on his work. I also know for a fact that a lot of kids out there that are afraid to talk to their parents. But I always welcome my kids to talk about their darkest secrets and feeling. Because talking is the best medicine.
> 60 days ago

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mylifemarg
mylifemarg writes:
When I submitted a letter to the principal, about having a strong hurtful feeling that they reported me to child services, I not only wont this letter to the school faculty, (and they are the Nurse, Junior High Principal, Social Worker, Guidance Counselor, and the Senior High Vice Principal), But I also shared the same letter with the caseworker at child services. In which I said there was a lack of communication, and miss understanding and someone is spreading bad rumors. So far I only heard from the Senior High Vice Principal, in which she said my heart go out to you. But when I asked the junior high principal if he got my letter he said yes. But first of all child services is not going to reveal who reported you. And who know maybe a pizza boy delivery, or the garbage men reported You. So I said we never use pizza delivery, and the garbage men never come near the house, and according to child service web site only School Officials, Social Service Workers, and Hospitals, Care Givers, can report this matter. So then he said I don't know what to tell you. I am thinking maybe a private school might be better for my son. Ever since my son was 5 yrs old he always show potential in learning. For example he can figure out math problems with out show the work. And now because of frustration he still as the potential but something inside is hurting him to express with what he basically knows.
> 60 days ago

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