My son is 4 years old, but i don't quite feel that he has developed to that stage. He can talk but mispronounces a lot of words and if something upsets him and i ask him whats wrong he will either repeat the same thing over and over again or just grunt or growl. He also either doesn't quite understand sharing just yet, or doesn't want to. when i try to get him to share his toys with my step daughter he refuses to, I've tried to get them to trade toys when this happens to try to make him understand but he will just cry and when i try to give him his toy back he refuses it and anything else you try to give him until he calms down again. I started potty training him around 2 but he still doesn't seem to quite grasp the concept yet, and there has been a few times he has wet himself on the couch and tried to hid the wet spot on the couch from me. He can recognize some letters and numbers but not all of them, he cant read at all yet, he tries but just points at the page and speaks random words or noises. I've been trying to teach him to draw and color but he just scribbles randomly and if he wants an picture drawn he asks me to do it. I'm remarried and my son lives with his father and i get him on weekends and he will be starting school soon and i don't want him to have trouble in school, i know there is no overnight fix but is there anything i can do? i try to show him how to do certain tasks and have him try to imitate me but it doesn't seem to be working. what can i do?
It is important that you discuss this with your pediatrician. He may need an evaluation of his development and possibly would benefit from early interventions services through your school and/or county. Speak up for him and advocate so that he may benefit from speech and language evaluation and a developmental assessment. These services are covered under federal law.
Wayne Yankus, MD, FAAP
expert panelist: pediatrics
My son actually was a "late bloomer"...meaning he wasn't potty trained until he wanted to and that was at 5 1/2 years old!! I actually had him tested and he was at a 3rd grade level when he was only 3 years old!! The problem with today's society is that they aren't allowing children to be children. These poor kids are pressured to grow up too soon and some of them will hang on to the only thing that they can...potty learning in order to stay babies a little while longer. My son told the psychiatrist the reason that he wasn't potty trained is because he was the baby. Anyway, my response to you is to just be there for your son because he definitely will not be going to college with a pull up on!! LOL!!
I had a child just like you're describing and he drove me crazy!! I honestly thought that he'd be in high school and not be potty trained. I had him tested by professionals and the only thing that they found wrong with him at the time was NOTHING!! Here's the thing, you probably have a child that feels that the only thing that he can control is everything that you're mentioning...toileting etc...when he comes over change how you're acting and guess what if he has an accident don't make a big deal of it. When my son was asked why wasn't he toilet trained, he instantly said "because I'm the baby, that's why." Continue to read to him...let his father take on the role of toilet training him. You only have him on the weekends and that's not much time so I would let everything with you and your little guy be POSITIVE!! His life has been turned upside down by his mother and father not being together so I bet you that he feels that being and acting more like a baby gets him attention regardless whether it's positive or negative. By my ignoring my son's negative behaviors and only pointing out the positive one's...he not only became toilet trained but he's the leader in my household..a positive leader!! Stay strong with your son, show him what to do and find out at what age children are required to be in school in your state because in some states kids aren't required to be in school until age 8. He may need to just be a kid and not be forced to be away from home just yet. I wish you all the luck in the world. He sounds like a great kid that just need to be just that...a kid!!