kellysfinn
kellysfinn asks:
Q:
How do I help my son maintain a positive attitude in soccer when his team loses all the time?
Kathi asked, "My son wants to quit soccer because he is on another losing team for the third year in a row.  I am not forcing him to play soccer.  He is the one who asks me to sign him up.   However, he is discouraged because we have played two soccer games so far and both times our team got creamed.  How can anyone maintain a positive attitude about a sport when they lose all the time?"

Great question, any ideas or advice?
In Topics: Sports and athletics, Self esteem and identity
> 60 days ago

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rkaiulani
rkaiulani writes:
I know from experience how disheartening it can be to always be on the losing team, as I've played on middle school soccer teams, high school soccer and volleyball teams, and college volleyball team that always, always lost. Why did I keep it up? To this day, I'm not really sure. But, even though we rarely won, I went from the lowest on the totem pole my freshman year to team captain my senior year, not so much for my abilities but for my ability to always stay positive. Kathi's son should be encouraged to consider everything that's great about team sports besides winning: getting to socialize with friends and practice teamwork, leadership, and personal skills. His team may not be the mighty ducks, but he can still feel like he's winning.
> 60 days ago

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michaelbartone
michaelbart... writes:
One that always stuck out for someone who was not atheletic at all but played soccer for nine years, is that I always looked at soccer as having fun not a competition. I hated, and still do, competitions. It is always discouraging for me to hear and see parents get angry when their child's team looses. I know you aren't like that Kathi. I remember in my Educational Psychology class my professor noted that one research found the number one question, or the first question, asked to children after a game was, "Did you win?" Why do we ask that instead of, "Did you have fun?" We need to look at the way we deal with sports in our society. Keep encouraging your son to find the the good things about soccer and his awesome contributions to the game/team. I know it seems frustrating, but have him become the champion of having fun and bein the team's cheerleader!
> 60 days ago

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JeffM
JeffM writes:
My son had the same problems with baseball.  He is an above average player but the teams he would get on would be awful.  We kept his interest with private lessons and found a competitive league to join.  I would check your local sporting goods store for information on more competitive teams other than the local league.

Good luck!
> 60 days ago

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