This is a great question.  We think that positive child guidance can be very effective because of the skills it teaches with a positive attitude.  Children and families not only learn the content of what we teach them, but they learn the techniques of how we teach and how we problem solve with them.  It is important to demonstrate a positive attitude, create an environment of working together toward a common goal, and establish relationships where everybody feels important, heard, and understood, even if they do not always agree.  Here are some specific tips to keep in mind.

Catch them being good.  Sometimes children misbehave for attention.  If attention is their end goal, providing them attention for good behavior will shape and promote that behavior.

Instead of telling them what to do, allow them to problem solve with you. Externalize the problems of the family from the family.  Identify a problem, get feedback from family members about how to attack it, and work together to solve it.  By separating the problem from the family it can seem more managable.  

Even when things are hard go back to the positive.  Look at problems as opportunities for improvement.  Look at difficulties as challenges.  Take things one step at a time when things are overwhelming and celebrate each step of success.

There are certainly many techniques and if you would like to talk about this further, please call our hotline.  Every situation is unique and different techniques will have different levels of effectiveness depending on the situation.  Call our hotline if you would like additional help.

Counselor, Dominic
Boys Town National Hotline-A resource for parents and teens
1-800-448-3000
www.parenting.org