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amf93
amf93 asks:
Q:

How do I talk to my parents about sleeping at my boyfriends house?

I am 19 years old, I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now. I am trying to talk openly about sleeping over at his house on occasion. He is allowed to stay with me at college and my parents know we have group sleep overs at a friend's house but whenever I bring up staying at his house it is a closed discussion.

I have lied before about sleeping there and been caught and we talked about it but all they say is they don't agree and do not want it happening. Then they say they cannot trust me because of things I did when i was 14 and 15. I have never had a good relationship with my parents and every time I tried to talk to them they shut down so I used to lie because I felt I couldn't talk to them about anything. I don't lie any more as I did when I was younger and rebellious, I will be 20 in a few months and I want to respect my parents wishes while I still have to live under their roof but I want to communicate with them and show them I want their trust and they have no reason to not trust me anymore and by talking to them I am showing them they can trust me.

I tried to express that I am not doing this to defy them it is just easier sometimes and it does not mean we are having sex. My parents know I have had sex and they know I am safe about it. But that isn't the reason for the sleepover. They are not open about talking about  me growing up and the closer they try to pull me the more I want to pull away. How can i express my feelings to them?
In Topics: Teen issues
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Apr 1, 2013
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What the Expert Says:

You probably have to realize that you aren't going to convince your parents that sleeping over at your boyfriend's house is a good idea.

You have expressed your concerns about the issue and they are expressed theirs you now have to make the decision if you are going to follow what they are asking.

At 19 you are capable of making your own decisions and if you feel that you can't respect your parents rules then maybe you want to look at moving out on your own. Moving out on your own would allow you to make your own decisions and not have to worry about what your parents are thinking.

This may also help improve the relationship between you and your parents as you are no longer disrespecting their rules.

The yourlifeyourvoice website might also give you some ideas and suggestions on how to talk with your parents.

Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000
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Additional Answers (1)

5456lilo
5456lilo writes:
As a parent, i think its just hard to see their little girl behaving like an adult, it also depends on how conservative your parent are , they might just not be so opened about the idea of you sleeping in boys house . i would talk with your mom she might understand you a bit more and help you with your father .
> 60 days ago

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