Does anyone think that teachers cause a child to be isolated or bullied by some of their tactics?

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Karenmom asks:

Example, today in my child's classroom, the teacher gave each child 4 Valentine cards with suckers. The instructions were to pick any 4 children to pass the cards out to. My daughter was a bit upset, because some children did not receive a card at all, while others received 10 or more. My child only received 1, I asked her how that made her feel, and she seems to be okay with it, because one of her friends is out sick and she herself didn't know what to do, she didn't want to make one friend feel left out while giving to another since they were limited. She actually gave one to the teacher. Personally, I didn't think that this was one of her teacher's better ideas, they should have been studying instead of choosing and eliminating friends, she mentioned that several boys didn't get anything. This just doesn't seem right to me, I'm afraid that this could lead to hurt feelings that may make a child feel isolated and effect their self esteem, while others gloat in their popularity. Any thoughts on this?

In Topics: Bullying and teasing

> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline

Feb 15, 2011

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What the Expert Says:

We would agree that the way your daughter's teacher chose to pass out Valentines on Valentine's Day was not fair and not considerate of the feelings of her students. She should have made sure that each child ended up with the same amount of cards. It sound like the actions of a newly certified teacher, not one who is is experienced and aware of the feelings and needs of young children in groups.

You have the option of asking the teacher about the situtation and letting her explain her side of the story. You can gently let her know how you felt it was unbalanced and unfair to most of the kids in the class. If she is a new teacher she may welcome the feedback and see your side of things. You don't want to make her feel bad about it, but rather let her know that some kids felt left out. And, don't make the call or meet with her when your daughter is listening. You want your children to respect their teachers and their decisions.

Please give us a call or e-mail us if you would like to talk about this or any other parenting issue. We are here 24 hours, 7 days a week to assist parents and children of all ages. Take care and best wishes to you and your daughter!

Sincerely,
Cynthia, Counselor
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000
hotline@boystown.org

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