chellfairy
asks:
Q:
Volunteer/chaperones in high school bullying students
My daughter is in 10th grade Marching band. Last summer at band camp, I guess a parent overheard the two boys talking about liking dd and how she won't date them. The parent said "Oh, I see that dd and her friend are still the same B*****'s from last summer. Don't get involved with them, they're just stupid teases." Several of the boys told my daughter.
After she told me this, I was understandably P'O'ed. I thought I was just going to let it pass, as long as there were no other incidences.
Last week at a band trip, dd and her friend were late 10 minutes of the meeting. When they walked in, one of the moms went over to them and loudly said"How is it that you can't get to the meeting on time? Everyone knew about the meeting and you two think your so important that you can come in anytime? Now you are not going to know what to do and where to be and will ruin the whole performance for everyone. If you make a mistake you will not be performing. We can do without you. As mom was ranting at the girls, the band director was addressing everyone saying to please know where to be. The mom looked over at the girls and said "GIRLS!!!!"Do YOU know where you're supposed to be?" Also, I just learned that their son makes comments to them while he walks by, like "I wish I could be as cool as you!! The two parents are married, both of them on the board and dad is president of mom and dads club. I don't want them chaperoning when my dd is present.
In Topics:
Parent Teacher Association (PTA), Teen issues, Bullying and teasing
After she told me this, I was understandably P'O'ed. I thought I was just going to let it pass, as long as there were no other incidences.
Last week at a band trip, dd and her friend were late 10 minutes of the meeting. When they walked in, one of the moms went over to them and loudly said"How is it that you can't get to the meeting on time? Everyone knew about the meeting and you two think your so important that you can come in anytime? Now you are not going to know what to do and where to be and will ruin the whole performance for everyone. If you make a mistake you will not be performing. We can do without you. As mom was ranting at the girls, the band director was addressing everyone saying to please know where to be. The mom looked over at the girls and said "GIRLS!!!!"Do YOU know where you're supposed to be?" Also, I just learned that their son makes comments to them while he walks by, like "I wish I could be as cool as you!! The two parents are married, both of them on the board and dad is president of mom and dads club. I don't want them chaperoning when my dd is present.
> 60 days ago
What the Expert Says:
Additional Answers (2)
I think that if the mom is really doing this and you know for a fact, then you need to go right up to the mom and tell them what you feel about it. You're daughter is probably a very nice girl and the boy is just jealous and telling his parents that he doesn't like the girl so the parents may be having childishly about this. If the parents do not stop bullying you're child, I would e-mail you're daughter's band director, let her know that you feel this mom is being really mean to you're daughter, calling her swear words, then I bet her band teacher would be able to help you. If all of these things do not make the mom stop bullying I think it is neccisary for you to go to the principal. The prinicipal will not and should not tolerate a mom being mean to one of her/his students. The prinicpal could probably assist you. If she can not help just have you're daughter quit band, it's not worth it for you're daughter to grow up with a parent who swears very often.
> 60 days ago
Sounds to me like your daughter may have a pride issue. Maybe you do too. If she has these high standards and it is apparent to other students and parents, and it is causing this type of response in the other parents, then your daughter is most likely flaunting how good she is. If you had any way of observing her behavior without her knowledge I can guarantee you that is what you'd observe. If you don't recognize this behavior in her, then she is acting just like you. If your daughter had a humble spirit and these standards, guys (and their parents) would have a natural respect for her. You don't go to the other parents to confront them - this brings you to the level of acting like a high-schooler yourself. Teach your daughter to care for other's feelings, be friendly to students, and their parents, while still maintaining standards. They will stop licking their wounds.
> 60 days ago
