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jmoegirls
jmoegirls asks:
Q:

My wife and I each brought children into our marriage.  My biological daughter had our grandson 6 years ago and he acknowledges us as nana and da da.

My wife and I each brought children into our marriage.  My biological daughter had our grandson 6 years ago and he acknowledges us as nana and da da.  Her biological daughter just found out she is pregnant.  My wife stated she was going to be a grandma for the first time and told my daughter that our grandson will hold a special place but that technically this is her first grandchild.  My daughter was offended by the comment but my wife insists that when it's your biological grandchild the feelings are different.  I don't agree and will acknowledge this baby as my own grandchild too.  How do we work through this different thought process?  (By the way, we are lesbian moms/grandmas).

Thanks.
In Topics: Choosing a school, My child's grandparent(s), Blended families
> 60 days ago

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Expert

ShirleyCressDudley
Jun 14, 2014
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What the Expert Says:

Blended families are difficult. It's important to teach all members of the family that everyone is family- and everyone is loved. This means that, whether a bio or step grandchild- it's a grandchild to be loved.

Maybe the feelings are different, but that's not something to be shared. Their is a love to go around for everyone, and it's important to not make anyone feel any less or a "step" away from the others.

I wish you the very best.

Kindest Regards,

Shirley Cress Dudley, MA LPC NCC FACMPE
Founder and Executive Director of The Blended and Step Family Resource Center
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Additional Answers (1)

Houli
Houli writes:
Your situation seem rather complicated, especially with so many adults, children and grandchildren blended into one family.  Answering this question with the 'right' answer is very difficult.

I would suggest you 'convene' a meeting of the entire family and work through this as a family.  Communication is the key- without all of you understanding the feelings and issues of others, the family will have trouble reconciling the situation.

Talk it through as a family and agree to any decision as a family.  Good luck.
9 days ago

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