autumnsmomm... asks:

why does my two year old not want to go to her fathers house?

we just recently got shared custody but she has been with me and only me since she was born until march 2013. then she went every other weekend. she never wanted to go then either but its gotten worse and she tells me he beats her and is mean. shes come home recently telling me she hates me and called me the b word.. her whole attitude has changed for the worst. what should I do?
In Topics: Single parent families
> 60 days ago



Dec 26, 2013
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What the Expert Says:

I'm sorry you are having this experience. You mentioned several issues.

If you child is being "beaten" then she shouldn't go to her dad's help. Get a social worker, or attorney involved to prevent visits.

If this is an issue of her not wanting to visit her dad, but there is no actual harm coming to her- then it is an attitude issue that can be resolved far more easily. Again- figure out if there is a safety issue first. If not:
-Tell your daughter how much her dad loves her and enjoys spending time with her
-Get excited when it's time for the visit and talk about how much fun she is going to have with her dad
-Tell her you will miss her, but this time gives you a break to do some special things for yourself- so it' a good time for both of you.

You can effect your daughter's attitude about her visits with her dad.
BUT- if there is a safety issue- disregard the advice and seek help immediately, so that visitation to her dad is monitored by another adult.

I wish you the very best.

Kindest Regards,

Shirley Cress Dudley, MA LPC NCC FACMPE
Founder and Executive Director of The Blended and Step Family Resource Center
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