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cherryrodriguez
cherryrodri... asks:
Q:

why does my six year old son act with us and his grandma but he went with a friend of mine and she said he was great

In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Jun 9, 2011
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What the Expert Says:

A great question and who knows what they answer may be as it could be any number of things.  Children behave differently in different environments, just like all of us do.  It may simply be that since he isn't used to being at your friend's house that he is not sure of what he can or cannot do so he may have been behaving because he doesn't have a sense of what he can get away with there and what he cannot get away with.  It may be that there was something so new and exciting for him in that new place (a pet, toy, or playmate) that he was distracted into good behavior for an extended period of time.  It could simply be that your friend has a different idea was what great child behavior is.  Perhaps she doesn't mind more ruckus or wild behavior and therefore didn't see anything he did as bad behavior.  

No matter what the reason for this was, it is great that you have found a place where your son can be where he fits into the structure of the environment. If you are comfortable with your friend, I hope your son can continue to be in that environment on occasion.  Keeping a child stimulated with new environments and experiments allows them to continue to explore, learn and be engaged with their surroundings, which can prevent acting out.  

Good luck and take care!

Counselor Dominic
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Additional Answers (1)

PaulaBeckerman
PaulaBecker... writes:
It sounds to me as if he's being a normal kid. :-)  Many children act out with their families but behave better with others - mine included!  I've been teaching young children for 18 years, and I'm the mom of a 15 yr old and a 12 yr old.  Over the years I've observed many children, and I think that they act out with you because they know you'll love them no matter what.  With your friend, your son was on his best behavior - that means you've taught him what is acceptable and expected, that's great!  He has a different comfort level with you, he can be himself, no matter how he is feeling at any given time.  Think about it, when you have rough days, who do you share your gripes with, or even take out your frustrations on?  Probably someone you trust deeply, who forgives your imperfections, and still loves you.  

Even although it feels frustrating when your child acts out with you, if he is able to behave appropriately in social settings, and isn't dreadful to you all the time, chances are that this really shows that he knows you love him enough to accept him even when he acts out.  Keep re-enforcing your expectations, set limits, redirect his acting out, but know it's normal.
> 60 days ago

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