My eight year old son is so worried about my reaction to him getting in trouble at school that he is becoming very unhappy & nervous, how can I help?
My son has been having behavior problems since he was in preschool. I was hesitant about having him tested for any behavior disorders, because of the side effects and horror stories I had heard about the medication. This year he started 3rd grade and after he was in trouble constantly almost everyday I did take him to the doctor. His teacher and I filled out the papers his doctor provided and he was diagnosed with mild ADHD, his pediatrician has been treating him since birth & I feel very comfortable with her decisions. She put him on a low dose of meds, & after 2 wks the difference in my son has been quite remarkable. He has always been a very smart child, but had a very hard time following directions, concentrating & not talking during class. He has went from getting in trouble everyday to having several really good days a week. Before this I had tried everything I could think of or read about to help him do better in school. So there were days I would really be upset with him and also tried to be calm. Since he has been taking the medicine he is doing really well, but still has some bad days. The problem is that he gets so upset when he does get in trouble & fears upsetting me that what should be easily corrected last all day. And it isn't the punishment or the rewards I give him, he just wants me to be happy. He would rather see me smile because I'm proud of him than anything else. I don't expect him to be good everyday and don't want him to worry. What can I do?
Most children want to stay out of trouble with their parents and don't like them to be upset at them. Does your son get anxious/upset in any other situations? Does he worry excessively? Is he emotional? Children with ADHD often have comorbidities, that is other conditions, such as anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder. In addition, on occasion, ADHD medications may cause side effects in the form of emotional issues. Probably the best approach at this point would be to discuss this with your son's health care provider.
Once you hear that your child got into trouble at school. Talk the behavior over with your child. Let your child know that you are upset about his behavior, but you still love him. Talk with son about making the right decision next time.