Building Family Strengths: Self-Esteem

BUILDING FAMILY STRENGTHS

SELF-ESTEEM

An individual with high self-esteem feels good about himself and can face the challenges of life more effectively. High self-esteem provides the basis for success and coping with daily living in a rapidly changing environment. You are the only person that can build your self-esteem; however, your family, parents, teachers and friends can provide support and influence many of your life decisions and choices.

Self-esteem is the way we relate to ourselves, to others and to life in general. It affects the way we learn, work and build relationships. Our personal success or failure lies in our self-esteem. If we believe we can, we do. If we believe we can't, we don't even try. If you have high self-esteem, you are willing to try new things, develop closer relationships, maintain self-confidence and remain flexible.

WHAT IS SELF-ESTEEM?

Self-esteem means truly loving and valuing oneself and is a personal assessment of worthiness. Persons with high self-esteem appear poised and confident and are less influenced by their peers. This is different from being self-centered, conceited or obnoxious. Building self-esteem is an ongoing process. It reaffirms that you have accepted yourself as you are but continue to work on capitalizing on your strengths.

Persons with low self-esteem may feel isolated, unloved, unappreciated and powerless. Withdrawal, rebellion and isolation can result from low self-esteem.

Self-esteem is important in every aspect of life. How we learn, how we work, how we act and how we play are all determined by our level of self-esteem. Four factors are necessary for an individual to develop and maintain a high level of self-esteem.

• Positive Role Models - people who provide meaningful goals, values, ideals and standards.
• Personal Strength - the ability to influence life's circumstances.
• Uniqueness and Individuality - a special personal sense and individual worth.
• Sense of Connectivity and Belonging - satisfaction from associations that are significant.

CHARACTERISTICS OF A POSITIVE SELF-ESTEEM WITHIN FAMILIES

Thinking positively about yourself is the first step to having high self-esteem. Ask yourself the following questions to determine if your self-esteem is healthy. Most people feel bad about themselves from time to time. So, when answering these questions, think about how you feel most of the time.

1. Are you honest and open about your feelings?
2. Are you happy for others when they are successful?
   
3. Do you accept constructive criticism and suggestions for improvement?
   
4. Are you at ease when you meet new people or are in a new surrounding?
   
5. Are you able to laugh at yourself and learn from your own mistakes?
   
6. Do you embrace change and look for new challenges?
   
7. Do you give yourself credit when credit is due?
   
8. Are you comfortable with your physical appearance?
   
9. Do you highly value your closest relationships with friends and family?
10. Do you enjoy quiet moments by yourself?

If you answered most of these questions yes, you probably have a healthy opinion of yourself.