Building Trust: Infancy Through the Preschool Years

Family As Example

From the very beginning, infants are shaping their view of the world and their place in it. A strong foundation of trust, built in a loving and caring environment, is the first step in philanthropy. At its most basic level, philanthropy is the love of mankind. During early years, children learn about love by being loved. They learn the role of rules in a community by having rules set at home. They learn about consequences, fairness, tolerance, altruism, justice, giving, sharing, and caring during their years in the most important community—the family.

"Success in life depends more on [the] ability to work with others than it does on [the] ability to work alone. More and more, the ability to be effectively interdependent, as opposed to independent, is the key to success. In a world of specialization and knowledge overflow, success depends upon knowing how to choose the right partners and employees, knowing how to inspire others, to command loyalty, and to motivate groups. This kind of skill is learned in childhood. Indeed, childhood is like a laboratory of social connection. Sharing, negotiating, sticking up for the one who is being excluded, finding something good to say, playing by the rules—these simple tasks of childhood can become life skills of the highest order," writes psychiatrist Edward M. Hallowell. 1

Your child will be watching the model practiced by the family to form his or her understanding of the world and to learn acceptable behavior in given situations. Your child's mannerisms and speech will mimic your own or those of frequently seen relatives or friends.

Developing a strong base of trust is crucial during these early years. The most significant gift you can give your young child is the sense of being cared for by you. Feelings of safety and trust allow children to expand beyond their own needs and to begin to appreciate the needs of others. These feelings are the first steps toward becoming a caring and philanthropic person.

Student artwork by Andrea, Brethren High School, Brethren, MI

Don't Forget Play

Use opportunities during your children's playtime with other children or imaginary friends to teach sharing and caring behavior. Just as learning can be fun, fun can be an opportunity to learn. “Your child's development will center around play . . . an essential means of acquiring the majority of adult skills, particularly social ones.” 2 The preschool experience need not be focused on academics, but instead on the social experiences that come from spending time in a group. The abilities to sit for short periods of time, to take turns, and to learn to trust other adults are the beginning of the transition to the school community.