Developmental Tasks
- To learn to distinguish between reality and fantasy.
- To become comfortable with own sexual identity.
- To make connections and distinctions between feelings, thoughts, and actions.
- To solve problems by initiating and creating.
Indicators Related to Developmental Lag
- Excessive fears; extreme separation anxiety; bedwetting; shyness; threatening or bullying peers; inhibited play; ritualistic behaviors, especially around food; persistent speech problems; toileting problems; excessive fear of strangers; lack of interest in others.
Note : Although these tasks and indicators may be present during ages 3 to 7, each may be more observable at specific times.
PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT: Three to Four Years
|
| Normal Characteristics |
Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting |
| Runs, jumps, begins to climb ladders; can start to ride tricycles; tries anything; is very active; tends to wander away. |
Carefully supervise physical activities. Set necessary limits. |
| Scribbles in circles; likes to play with mud, sand, finger paints, etc.; can begin to put together simple puzzles and construction toys. |
Provide materials and activities to develop coordination, e.g., sand, crayons, paint, puzzles. |
| Dresses self fairly well; cannot tie shoes. |
Provide opportunities for child to dress self. Let him or her pick clothes. |
| Can feed self with a spoon or fork. |
Let child feed self. |
| Takes care of toilet needs more independently; can stay dry all day but perhaps not all night; becomes very interested in own body and how it works. |
Label all body parts without judgment, and answer questions about body functions simply and honestly. |
INTELLECTUAL DEVELOPMENT: Three to Four Years
|
| Normal Characteristics |
Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting |
| Continues to learn through senses. |
Provide many sensory experiences, e.g., sand, water, pictures. |
| Uses imagination a lot; starts dramatic play and role playing; likes to play grown-up roles, e.g., Mommy, Daddy, firefighter, spaceman, Wonder Woman. |
Provide props for dramatic play, e.g., old clothes, shoes, make-up. |
| Begins to see cause-and-effect relationships. |
Point out and explain common cause-and-effect relationships -- how rain helps flowers grow, how dropping makes glass break, how hitting hurts a person. |
| Is curious and inquisitive. |
Explain things to the child, answer questions honestly, and help child put feelings and ideas into words. |
EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT: Three to Four Years
|
| Normal Characteristics |
Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting |
| Is sensitive about the feelings of other people toward self. |
Develop a warm relationship with child. Express and show love for and confidence in the child. |
| Is developing some independence and self-reliance. |
Encourage independent activity. |
| May have fear of strangers, animals, the dark. |
Never force the child to participate in frightening activities. Don't ridicule. Provide a night light. |
| Is anxious to please adults and is dependent on their approval, love, and praise. |
Give approval through facial expressions, gestures, and verbal responses. Avoid negative remarks about the child. Emphasize the family's love for the child. |
| May strike out emotionally at situations or persons when having troublesome feelings. |
Offer love, understanding, and patience. Help child work with and understand own emotions.
(Note: Some temporary regression and jealousy are common if a new baby arrives.) |
SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT: Three to Four Years
|
| Normal Characteristics |
Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting |
| Can leave mother for short periods but mother is still very important. |
Express interest in what the child has been doing while away from parent(s). |
| Begins to notice differences in the way men and women act. Imitates adults. |
Model the things you want the child to do, since at the start of gender role development the child will imitate adults. |
| Starts to be more interested in others; begins group play; likes company. Is not ready for games or competition; groups are not well formed. |
Provide enough materials so that several children can use them together. Help the child find socially acceptable ways of dealing with others. |
MORAL DEVELOPMENT: Three to Four Years
|
| Normal Characteristics |
Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting |
| Begins to know right from wrong. |
Provide clear limits; enforce them consistently, but not harshly. |
| Finds other's opinions of self to be important. |
Praise the child whenever you honestly can. Focus on behavior; be explicit, e.g., "You ate all the peas, and peas are good for you," or "That drawing has such beautiful colors," instead of "I like that drawing." |
| Is more self-controlled and less aggressive. |
Notice and reinforce child's self-control, e.g., the ability to wait, to share belongings. |
| Uses extreme verbal threats such as, "I'll kill you," without understanding full implications. |
Don't take threats personally or too seriously. |
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Reprinted with the permission of the Department of Social and Health Services.
photo by:
Jen Millward 
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