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Child Development Guide: 3-4 Years (continued)

Source: Washington State Department of Social and Health Services
Topics: Early Years (Birth-5), All Developmental Milestones (Ages 3-5)
EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT: Three to Four Years
Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting
Is sensitive about the feelings of other people toward self. Develop a warm relationship with child. Express and show love for and confidence in the child.
Is developing some independence and self-reliance. Encourage independent activity.
May have fear of strangers, animals, the dark. Never force the child to participate in frightening activities. Don't ridicule. Provide a night light.
Is anxious to please adults and is dependent on their approval, love, and praise. Give approval through facial expressions, gestures, and verbal responses. Avoid negative remarks about the child. Emphasize the family's love for the child.
May strike out emotionally at situations or persons when having troublesome feelings. Offer love, understanding, and patience. Help child work with and understand own emotions.
(Note: Some temporary regression and jealousy are common if a new baby arrives.)
Emotional Development for Two to Three Years Emotional Development for Four to Five Years
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SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT: Three to Four Years
Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting
Can leave mother for short periods but mother is still very important. Express interest in what the child has been doing while away from parent(s).
Begins to notice differences in the way men and women act. Imitates adults. Model the things you want the child to do, since at the start of gender role development the child will imitate adults.
Starts to be more interested in others; begins group play; likes company. Is not ready for games or competition; groups are not well formed. Provide enough materials so that several children can use them together. Help the child find socially acceptable ways of dealing with others.
Social Development for Two to Three Years Social Development for Four to Five Years
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MORAL DEVELOPMENT: Three to Four Years
Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting
Begins to know right from wrong. Provide clear limits; enforce them consistently, but not harshly.
Finds other's opinions of self to be important. Praise the child whenever you honestly can. Focus on behavior; be explicit, e.g., "You ate all the peas, and peas are good for you," or "That drawing has such beautiful colors," instead of "I like that drawing."
Is more self-controlled and less aggressive. Notice and reinforce child's self-control, e.g., the ability to wait, to share belongings.
Uses extreme verbal threats such as, "I'll kill you," without understanding full implications. Don't take threats personally or too seriously.
Moral Development for Two to Three Years Moral Development for Four to Five Years
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