Choosing a Mental Health Professional for Your Child

Why should you get help?

Every child experiences emotional difficulties from time to time but at some point, a child's problems may warrant professional attention. Yet parents are usually less familiar with, or feel confused about, obtaining mental health care. When a child is sick with the flu or breaks a leg, parents usually head straight for the doctor. And as a parent, you are well versed in the standard routine doctor visits for everything from vaccinations to ear aches. Physical symptoms seem more obvious and unfortunately, may get more professional attention than mental health symptoms.

But just like physical problems, the prognosis is better when the mental health problem is treated early. Surprisingly, many problems seen by medical doctors have a psychological component.

It is estimated that over 15 million children and teens have a mental health or substance abuse problem. Sadly, only one in five of the children with a mental health problem gets treated - a figure far smaller than the number of children being treated for a medical ailment. What accounts for the disparity? Parents may not readily recognize their child's symptoms as a mental health problem. They may feel embarrassed or ashamed, think they should handle the problem on their own, feel the situation is hopeless, disagree when others suggest the need for outside help, or dismiss or misunderstand a child's problem. Unfortunately, misconceptions and shame may delay or prevent adults and children from getting the help they need. When parents are concerned about a possible mental health issue they can benefit from seeking guidance from a professional. In fact, once addressed, parents may be reassured that their child's experiences are developmentally appropriate, and that alone can ease discomfort. Or, they may decide to engage in a course of treatment that will result in better functioning for both the child and family.

When should you seek help?

Many physical and emotional signs suggest a possible mental health problem. Problems can range from those of serious concern, for example, when a child or adolescent has lost touch with reality or is in danger of harming himself, to those of less concern, for example, when a child or teen experiences a change in eating or sleeping, feels frustrated, or is particularly fearful of something. But any problem that is personally bothersome warrants evaluation. Further investigation may be warranted when a child seems out of step with peers or exhibits changes or problems in any of the following areas:

• Eating/appetite
• Sleeping
• School work
• Activity level
• Mood
• Relationships with family or friends
• Aggressive behavior
• Return to behavior typical of a younger child
• Developmental milestones such speech and language

In general, any of the above symptoms would first be evaluated with respect to the: 

• intensity 
• duration
• age appropriateness
• interference with the child's and family's life

Where do I start?

Looking for information can be a crucial first step. Parents may not be sure their child has a mental health problem, not know exactly what it is, or wonder whether it is serious enough to seek help. All of these questions can be discussed with a professional.

A variety of obstacles may get in the way of seeking mental health treatment - all of them can and should be overcome. Some of the roadblocks are real; some are due to common myths and misinformation about what it means to need help and what will happen. The following are some typical concerns and solutions.

"I'm embarrassed and uncomfortable about the problem"

Solution: Feeling uncomfortable talking about personal problems is not uncommon. This can stem from feeling guilty and blaming oneself or believing certain issues should remain private. As a way to avoid addressing a problem, parents may ignore it, hoping the child will "outgrow" it. Like many things in life, individuals often imagine far worse than is the reality. Mental health professionals have experience with the issues, are familiar with your concerns, and are trained to put parents and children at ease.