Parent-Child Communication: Develop Open, Effective Communication with Your Child

When communicating with your child…

• Focus and listen to your child. Effective listening is not a passive activity but a very active one. Being a good parent means being a great listener.

• Respect your child as the authority in his or her life experience.

• Listen to and understand your child's perception and understanding of situations and people.

• By understanding your child's experiences, perspective and temperament, you can better know your child and better help your child make the right decisions, interact well with others and build self-esteem.

• Understand both the content (“this is what happened”) and the emotions (“this is how it made me feel”) your child is communicating.

• Respond to both the content and the emotions your child is expressing.

• Acknowledge your child's emotional reaction by saying things like “That sounds frustrating” or “I bet that hurt your feelings.”

• Identify and reflect the feeling back to your child. 

• Know that anger is a default reaction for children and teens—your child may not be angry, but hurt or sad and expressing it through anger.

• Talk to your child about what is going on and identifying your child's true emotion.

• Help your child work through the situation and control that anger by recognizing how he or she is truly feeling.