Encouraging a Healthy Body Image

It seems like just yesterday that you had to coax your daughter to bathe. But then she turned 11 and started spending hours in the bathroom and sizing herself up in every mirror she passes. She seems consumed by her looks. What happened? And is it healthy?

As they approach the teen years, it's common and natural for kids to become more interested in appearances — their own and others' — seemingly all of a sudden. Their bodies are going through some big changes as they grow and go through puberty. As preteens change physically they become more aware of how they look.

Growing and puberty affect more than a preteen's outward appearance — body image is affected, too. Having a healthy body image means that most of your feelings, ideas, and opinions about your body and appearance are positive. It means accepting and appreciating your body and feeling mostly satisfied with your appearance.

Developing a healthy body image happens over time. It can be influenced by experiences and shaped by the opinions and feedback of others and by cultural messages.

Body Image and Appearance

Body image can be especially vulnerable during the preteen years because appearances change so much and cultural messages that fuel dissatisfaction can be very strong. Being criticized or teased about appearance can be particularly hurtful at this age.

Preteens and teens often compare their looks with others' or with media images of the "right" way to look. In cultures in which looks seem to matter so much — and ideal images are so unrealistic — it's all too common to be dissatisfied with some aspect of appearance.

But feeling too self-critical about appearance can interfere with body image. And poor body image can hurt a teen's overall self-image, too.

Beyond Appearances

As teens mature mentally and emotionally, they will develop a more complex self-image — one that incorporates their interests, talents, unique qualities, values, aspirations, and relationships. But during the early teen years, the image they see in the mirror makes up a big part of their self-image.

And while it's true that appearance isn't everything, feeling satisfied with appearance means a lot. If you're wondering why your child suddenly seems so focused on appearance, keep in mind that preteens are:

• Adapting to a new reflection. Spending extra time grooming, making comparisons with friends and celebrities, and experimenting with clothing, hair, and makeup can be ways of getting to know and like the new self reflected in the mirror.
• Making a fashion statement. When preteens and teens express their taste in clothes and hairstyles, they're making statements about themselves. Experimenting with and defining their styles is one way to express their interests, personality, independence, and identity.
• Finding a way to belong. Peers, groups, and cliques — which take center stage during the teen years — can also play a role in heightening young teens' concerns about appearances. Dressing a certain way might be a way of feeling included, fitting in, standing out, or belonging to a group of peers.

Boys and Body Image

It's not just girls who become focused on appearance. Boys might not be as vocal about it, but they can worry just as much about their looks. They may spend the same amount of time in front of the mirror, weighing where to part their hair, what kind of product to use, assessing acne, and deciding whether or not to shave. And when your son emerges wearing pants that sag as if he hasn't quite finished getting dressed, he may in fact have spent hours getting them to hang at that exact angle.