Family Communication: Activities & Ideas

Be Intentional

• Wait — Whether they’re tired or upset, sometimes your children aren’t ready to talk. Give yourself and your children time and space, but don’t make it an excuse to avoid conversation.

• Listen for more than the words — What your children are “saying” may not come out in words. It may show through body language, tone or other actions. Listen carefully and try to understand the feelings behind the words, not just the words themselves.

• Think through the tough conversations — Sometimes you need to have difficult conversations. When the time comes, think it through in advance. What do you want to say? What questions do you need to ask? What can you do to make it go as well as possible?

Be Creative

• Do something else — Many people don’t like “just talking.” They have better conversations when they’re shooting hoops, putting together a puzzle, hiking in the mountains or doing a service project together. Doing things together that both you and your children enjoy may be the best way to get a conversation going.

• Communicate without talking — There are lots of ways to communicate that you care besides talking. If your children don’t want to talk, leave a caring note, send a friendly email or just sit by their bed and give a backrub. You won’t have to say anything to communicate a lot.

Keep Perspective

• Give time — Sometimes kids need space to work through things and figure out who they are. Give them time and space, but always let them know you’re there, you care and you’re ready to listen.

• Be patient — Sometimes you and your children will say things you regret. Other times you’ll miss opportunities for a great conversation. Relax, it’s perfectly normal. Despite the fact that you may already have a hard time talking, remember that you can always start a new conversation, even a simple one, that can help get you back on track. Learn. Forgive. And try again.

MVParents (Search Institute)