Fatherhood

We see so many single mothers. What about absent fathers?

It’s essential for a child to have a second primary relationship with a caring, protective adult, so help your child establish a safe, healthy and permanent relationship with someone close to the family. As for divorce, kids can get through it okay, but it is important that both parents maintain a healthy relationship with their child.

What can fathers do to strengthen their important role?

Fathers need to understand the strength of their influence on their children. Fathers should make special time or each child and for mom. Men do need to show children their softer side and relationship building skills. Also, make sure you are able to clearly communicate your needs to your spouse and children. This will help build a secure relationship within the family.

Why is it so hard for some fathers to practice those "soft" skills?

The American societal role of men is independent and in control, which makes it more difficult for them to talk about their feelings. Some men may have unresolved issues with their father, which reflects on their own parenting style. Society isn’t yet fully supportive of fathers who have a strong family commitment – we need to make it okay for fathers to be completely involved with their families.

How can moms help dads out?

Mothers need to tell fathers their expectations and their needs for help with the children. Let him choose the duties he wants to do, and bite your lip if they are not done your way. If he is completing tasks you have asked, don’t attack him for not helping out more. Let him develop his own parenting style and techniques and compliment him when you feel he has made good decisions. Encourage him to spend time and get involved with the children. Remember to insist on couple time.

For more information on parenting children, call 553-3000 or toll-free (877) 553-3001 or email info@heartlandfamilyservice.org