Helping Children Respond To Disasters

The impact of any disaster is widespread. Even those not directly touched by the event are affected. The social fabric of the general community is altered and must be healed. Parents and child care providers are especially hard hit by the turmoil surrounding a disaster because they must provide comfort and stability to children at a time when they may be feeling overwhelmed and uncertain about the future. This Handout aims to assist parents and caregivers in responding to children in the wake of a catastrophe. Knowing ahead of time how children respond to disasters will help you feel prepared if or when another one occurs.

Children’s Responses to Disaster

Many feelings and reactions are common and shared by people of all ages after a disaster. However, special attention is required in addressing the needs of children. During times of confusion, young children are particularly vulnerable to the disruption of their previously orderly world. Because they generally lack the verbal and conceptual skills necessary to cope effectively with sudden stress themselves, they look to family members and other adults for comfort. The fear of abandonment is a major fear for all children. Other typical reactions from children of any age include: fears of future disasters, loss of interest in school, sleep disturbances and night terrors, and fears of natural events associated with the disaster (i.e. sudden movement or noises may remind children of an earthquake). Young children (6 years old or under) may also experience one or more of the following: bed-wetting, crying, excessive clinging, thumbsucking, fear of darkness, fear of crowds, problems in eating and sleeping, irritability and confusion. Most of these symptoms can be diminished if parents or caregivers understand and remember the underlying causes of the behaviors and respond with liberal doses of attention, love and care.

Reactions to a disaster vary with both the age of the child and the child's individual temperament. These reactions may appear immediately after the disaster, or they may not arise for days, weeks or even several months. They can come and go depending on the circumstances of the child's life. Often these normal reactions are short-lived and soon disappear altogether. If children are developmentally robust and their basic relationships are in good shape, they will bounce back from a trauma. However, there may be cause for concern if disaster-related behavior doesn’t diminish within a reasonable amount of time (i.e. if a sleeping problem continues for more than a few weeks, if clinging behaviors do not recede, if fears become worse). When children have persistent difficulty in coping, it may be advisable to seek professional assistance. Children who have experienced acute or severe losses such as the actual loss of their home or the death of a family member will need special reassurance, help or counseling.

Respect the manner in which children choose to express themselves. Sometimes they will be most comfortable talking about stressful events in a descriptive, matter-offact fashion. At other times, children may want to act out a reaction rather than talk about it. It is not uncommon for children to express a wide range of emotions. For example, many children may be simultaneously fascinated by and fearful of a disaster. It may appear that they are trying to confront and to avoid a stressful situation at the same time. Any technique which helps children verbalize or act out their feelings of fear or sadness is beneficial.

During times of confusion, children look to adults (parents and other caregivers) for information about what is happening as well as for protection and reassurance. It is important for adults to provide clear information in a manner which fits each child’s level of understanding. A ten year old will be able to absorb more details about a disaster than a three year old – but, they both need information. Children may not be able to discriminate between the disaster itself and its aftermath. For example, the noise and confusion which accompanies the rebuilding of homes after a fire may disturb or frighten some children. They need an explanation of why all those trucks are coming and going through the neighborhood and they need an understanding that this activity is necessary to return the area to normal. By providing information and reassurance (even if we ourselves don’t feel entirely reassured), we can help children feel less fearful and more in control of their lives.

What Can Parents Do?:

Despite the disruption and stress of trauma, these events present an opportunity for children and their parents to interact in positive and powerful ways. When parents are able to react by grieving over losses and in time moving ahead, children receive a strong message on how to cope with adversity. In the future, the young children and other members of the family can look back at the event and see it as something which happened and was successfully overcome. Here are some helpful hints for difficult times:

• Allow a child to talk about the disaster. Let him/her know that it is normal to feel worried and upset. Listen to what your child says and how s/he says it. Do you hear fear, insecurity, anger? Provide emotional labels for common reactions. “You sound very angry when you talk about what happened.” “Your voice tells me you are sad when you think about ... .” It may be very helpful to restate your child’s words. “You are afraid because people you know were hurt.” Or “You wonder if another disaster will happen soon.” This helps clarify feelings for everyone. It is wise and necessary for adults to talk with children about a calamity. This gives children the opportunity to think through the event, to try to understand it and to be reassured that it is past.

• Talk with your child about your own feelings but do not burden him/her with adult worries and fears. Find other adults to discuss your concerns and anxieties with so you don’t put your child in the position of taking care of you.

• Reassure your child that the family is safe and together with phrases like “It’s sad so many people lost their lives, but we are still together. I care about you and I will take care of you.” You will probably need to repeat information and reassurances many times immediately after any disaster and again and again as time goes by. Once is not enough.

• Stick to usual routines as much as possible. Spend time together. If you feel too stressed to talk, simply being together is what matters. It is not important what you do.

• Hold and touch your child often. This provides needed physical comfort.

• Plan to spend extra time with your child at bedtime. S/he may need extra reassurance.

• Encourage expression through play. Listen to what is said and observe how the child plays. Children frequently express feelings of fear or anger while playing with dolls, trucks or friends. Play can be healing and therapeutic.

• Allow the child to mourn and grieve if s/he has lost a meaningful object (i.e. a blanket or stuffed animal). This is part of the process of helping a child learn to cope with her feelings about the disaster. In time, it may be helpful to replace the object.

• Let children know that life can be hard sometimes, that unexpected and scary things do happen, but that you as the parent are there to protect them and keep them safe.

• Allow children to have their fears and concerns. Some children become aggressive or otherwise “act out.” It is important to remember that while the behavior may be unacceptable and need to be redirected, the feelings behind the behavior are appropriate and should be acknowledged.

• Protect children from the media barrage after a disaster. Repeated newscasts of the event may cause young children (and adults) to lose perspective on the true scope of the event.

• Take good care of yourself. A child’s ability to assimilate traumatic events is usually dependent on how well the parents and other caregivers cope with the events. Your well-being (or lack of it) will affect your child.

• Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Usually a child’s reactions to a traumatic event do not last too long. If a child’s fears or troublesome behaviors persist or seem especially intense, talk to a teacher, counselor, minister or mental health professional in the community who is experienced in working with children. You can call BANANAS Warmline for referrals, 658-6046.

What Can Child Care Providers Do?

Child care providers and staff play a pivotal role in the lives of their families. In fact, child care or school may be the only stable place in children’s lives immediately after a disaster. By providing a consistent environment in the midst of chaos and turmoil, child care programs play a key role in helping children return to normal. Here are some additional thoughts and suggestions for child care providers: