Hitting, Kicking, Biting, and Hair Pulling

Children resort to aggressive behaviors because of a lack of wisdom and self-control. It is not a sign that a child is hateful or mean. Kids are human beings and human beings will get angry, we can't prevent that. What we can do is teach our children how to handle their frustration and anger in appropriate ways. If your child uses physical acts to express her feelings, use some of the following tips to change her behavior.

Intercede before it happens

Watch your child during playtime.

When you see her becoming frustrated or angry—intervene. Coach her through the issue. Teach her what to do, or model what to say to her friend. Or if she seems too upset to learn, redirect her attention to another activity until her emotions level out.

Teach and explain

It's one thing to tell a child what not to do or to step into an argument and solve it yourself. It's another thing entirely to teach her what to do in advance of the next problem. This can be done through role-play, discussion, and reading a few children's books about angry emotions.

Examine hidden causes

Is your child hungry, tired, sick, jealous, frustrated, bored or scared? If you can identify any feelings driving your child's actions you can address those along with the aggressive behavior.

Give more attention to the injured party.

Often the child who hits gets so much attention that the action becomes a way of gaining the spotlight. Instead, give more attention to the child who was hurt. After a brief statement, "No hitting!"turn and give attention to the child who was wronged, "Come here and Mommy will give you a hug and read you a book."

Teach positive physical touches.

Show your child how to hold hands during a walk or how to give a back rub or foot massage. Teach a few physical games, like tag or cat's cradle. Under direct supervision, children who are more physical can gain a positive outlet for their physical energy.

Teach the clapping method

Tell a child to clap his hands whenever he feels an urge to hit. This gives him an immediate outlet for his emotions and helps him learn to keep his hands to himself. An alternate is to teach him to put his hands in his pockets when he feels like hitting. Reward with praise anytime you see he's successful.