How to Help Your Child Become a Big Brother or Sister

Things You Can Do

Although becoming a brother or sister can be a hard change for children, there are many things you can do to help them with this change before and after the birth or your second child.

When You’re Pregnant

• Prepare your child for the new baby in a way that he or she understands. Explain that the new brother or sister is coming and will be living in the house as a part of the family.
• Talk about the second child as a person with his or her own needs and tastes (e.g., “Do you think the new baby will like the blue blanket or the yellow blanket?).
• Research has shown that children who view their new siblings as distinct people behave more positively toward them.
• Check local hospitals for Big Brother or Sister Programs. These can help children prepare for, and get excited about, having a new brother or sister.
• Put aside some small presents for your child to open when you get shower gifts (this can also be useful after the birth when people give presents to the new baby).

After the Birth

•  Point out the many things that the firstborn child can do that the newborn can’t (e.g., “What a big boy you are – you can drink out of a sippy cup!”).
• Be understanding about the child’s jealousy but be very clear that the child is never to hurt the baby. Encourage the child to express his or her anger toward a pillow or through drawing.
• Encourage visitors who come to see the new baby to take time to talk to the older child.
• Be sure to spend quality time alone with the older child each day.
• Ask the older child for help with the baby. They may not be able to do much, but getting them involved in some child care promotes better sibling relationships.