KidsPoll: What Kids Worry About

Most parents are well aware that preteens worry about looks, schoolwork, and fitting in. But you might be surprised to learn that what preteens worry about most is the health of loved ones.

A new KidsHealth KidsPoll surveyed 1,154 kids ages 9 to 13. More than half the kids ? 55% ? said they worry "almost all the time" about the health of a loved one. For preteens, that concern surpassed worries about the future (43%), schoolwork (37%), and looks or appearance (37%).

Worry about the health of a loved one ? whether it's a parent, grandparent, sibling, or a pet ? is a concern kids often experience. But the KidsPoll showed that 23% of kids surveyed said they talk to a parent when they worry. So while kids might worry a lot about loved ones, parents often are likely to be unaware of those concerns.

A Natural Worry

It's natural to worry about those we love. Parents can certainly relate. Several factors may help explain why these worries are so often on the minds of preteens:

• Growing awareness. Preteens are exposed to a flood of new safety and health information ? in the classroom, in the community, at home, and in the media. They learn that people should use seatbelts, wear a helmet, eat healthy foods, and not smoke. They hear about things like heart attacks and strokes, cancer, and AIDS. They learn about the dangers of excessive drinking, drug use, and inattentive or reckless driving. As kids learn to be mindful of safety and health, they can feel more vulnerable and might worry about the health of those they love and depend on.
• Personal experiences. Some kids have parents with chronic health conditions, serious illnesses, or stressful life circumstances. Some have siblings or other relatives who are affected by health problems. As they mature, preteens become more aware of death, and they may begin to think about the health and mortality of parents or grandparents. Some have experienced a personal loss or know someone who has. If they hear about a loss they can relate to, it's not unusual for kids to worry whether they'll lose a loved one, too.
• More independence. During the preteen years, kids are exploring the world more independently, without a parent always at their side. They're taking more responsibility for keeping themselves safe ? on the sports field, in the pool, crossing the street, walking to school, and at home alone after school. They become more aware of risks as part of learning about good safety and health habits. They revel in this independence. Though they might behave as if they need their parents less, in truth this is a time when many kids worry more than ever about parents and need their love, protection, guidance, and reassurance.

What Kids Do When They're Worried

Kids react to worry in different ways. In some cases, worry prompts them to express their concern in a positive way or try to make positive changes. For example, preteens may remind parents to wear a seatbelt or bike helmet, or ask them not to smoke. Sometimes, this can be just the push a parent needs to kick a bad habit or develop a good one. After all, your kids learn by the example you set. In other cases, kids might say nothing about their worries. They may assume friends and families know about their troubles, or it may just not come up in conversation.