Kids and Pets

We surround our children with images of animals from the day they are born. We decorate nurseries with stuffed puppies and penguins and hang mobiles with dangling bears and bunnies over cribs. There are animals on the wallpaper - sometimes we even paint animal murals. And, later on, we want the kids to experience the joys of having a real animal in the house to grow up with.

But sometimes it's not that easy. If you want to bring home a puppy or a kitten to raise alongside the kids, you're quite likely to find yourself being given the third degree by an adoption counselor at the local shelter. And that can be quite annoying!

A lady who was interested in adopting a dog for her family started to tell me how her oldest son had tried to hurt a puppy quite badly when he was very young. I agreed that extra care was needed and explained that I didn't adopt puppies, kittens, or little dogs to families with very small children. I would, however, place an adult dog who was used to children in that family.

"That's a terrible decision," she replied in a huffy manner. "Children should be around puppies so they can grow up together."

"But you just told me about your son hurting a puppy really badly!"

"Yes, he did. But I still think it's wrong for you to not adopt a puppy to someone because they have a small child."

Children do need animals in their lives, and animals can have a magical effect on children. They provide comfort, companionship, life lessons, opportunities to learn how to care for something outside of oneself, and, in many cases, a healing touch. However, bringing an animal into a family should be a privilege and done in a way that is safe for both child and animal.

As a mother of three children, I waited for my children to be out of the toddler phase before bringing pets into the mix. They were rough enough on me - hair pulling, jumping on me in the bed - and I didn't want them to do that to a dog or cat.

Other families have made different decisions, and in some cases it has worked out well. Wendy told me that her oldest daughter was only three years old when Duke came to live with them as an eight-week-old German shepherd puppy.

"Lacie would pull on his ears, and she tried to put her hands in his mouth all the time, but he never tried to bite or scratch her," Wendy told me.

Wendy and her family lucked out with Duke. Shelters and humane societies are full of animals who failed the kid test. Worse yet, many years ago, I placed a nine-week-old puppy with a young mother who had a three-year-old son. The son had really impressed me, but two weeks later, the puppy was dead. How could this have happened? The little boy had discovered the joy of throwing things. One day he was throwing his toys down the stairs. His trucks and his teddy bear all landed fine at the bottom, but not the puppy, who broke his neck on the fall.

The distraught mother's tears and regret were genuine. She agreed that it would be a while before they brought another animal into their home, and then it would be a large adult dog. She was not a bad mother, and this was not a bad child. It was just a bad combination at that age.