Learning to Be a Father: How Do We Do It? (continued)

While a good parenting class can be an investment in time and energy (meeting weekly for five to 12 weeks), they can be well worth it if you need some specific guidance in handling certain situations with your child.

The Bottom Line

The simplest, and most important, message about learning to be a good father is to just do it. Your interest in learning to be the best dad you can be is an indicator that you are going to become just that.

You will find that some of the resources and strategies mentioned here may work better for you than others. That's fine. There's no one way to learn to be a better father. In the end, don't put pressure on yourself to be the "perfect father." The fact is, he doesn't exist.

Keep your mind open to the possibilities of learning new ideas and strategies. Don't con yourself into thinking that you've got it all figured out. Learning to be a parent is a constant process. It doesn't end at a certain age (yours or theirs) - it just changes form again. What keeps it going and growing? Knowing that your mutual efforts and energy will pay off in a richer and more satisfying relationship between you and your child.

Recommended Resources

Internet Sources, Florida http://www.floridafathers.or

Internet Sources, National

Fatherhood Project / Families and Work Institute

(212) 465-2044, www.familiesandwork.org

National Center for Fathering
(800) 593-DADS, www.fathers.com

National Fatherhood Initiative
(800) 790-DADS, www.fatherhood.org

National Latino Fatherhood and Family Institute
(323) 728-7770, www.nlffi.org

Stay at Home Dads
(850) 434-2626, www.slowlane.com

Washington States Fathers Network
(425) 747-4004 ext. 218, www.fathersnetwork.org

Books

Adventures in Fatherhood. (1998). K. Canfield.

Between Father and Child. (1991). R. Levant & J. Kelly

The Fathers Almanac: From Pregnancy to Preschool, Baby Care to Behavior: The Complete and Indispensable Book of Practical Advice and Ideas for Every Man Discovering the Fun and Challenge of Fatherhood. (1992). S. Adams Sullivan.

The New Father Book: What Every Man Needs to Know to be a Good Dad. (1998). W. Horn & A. Feinstein

The Role of the Father in Child Development. (1997). M. Lamb

Wisdom of Our Fathers: Inspiring Life Lessons from Men Who Have Had Time to Learn Them. (1999). J. Kita

Working Fathers: New Strategies for Balancing Work and Family. J. Levine & T. Pittinsky.

Endnotes

1. If you want to know more about the benefits of fathers staying involved in their child's life, check out the University of Florida Cooperative Extension publication FCS 2137 "The Hidden Benefits of Being an Involved Father" (Evans and Fogarty, 2005). http:www.edis.ifas.ufl.edu/HE137

References

References

Almeida, D., & N. Galambos. (1991). Examining father involvement and the quality of father- adolescent relations. Journal of Research on Adolesence 1, 155-172.

Bagner, D.M., & Eyberg, S.M. (2003). Father involvement in parent training: When does it matter? Journal of Clinical Child & Adolescent Psychology, 32, 599-605.

Evans, G. 1999. The Hidden Benefits of Being an Involved Father. Florida Cooperative Extension Service, IFAS, Univ. Fla., Gainesville. FCS2137

Bernadett-Shapiro, S., D. Ehrensaft, & S. Shapiro. (1996). Father participation in childcare and the development of empathy in sons: An empirical study. Family Therapy 23, 77-93.

King, V. (1994). Nonresident father involvement and child well- being: Can dads make a difference? Journal of Family Issues 15, 78-96.