Biting and Your Child

Let’s explore a common toddler behavior: biting. It is normal, of course, for babies to bite. After all, everyone learns to bite and chew food! However, it is a different story when youngsters bite other children. This kind of behavior is shocking to parents and caregivers alike – and painful to the biting victim. “No Bites” gives practical suggestions on how to react when this happens at home or in a child care program.

It is understandable that some children bite to release stress or frustration. Mouths automatically react to emotions. When we are under stress, our jaw muscles are among the first to get tense. But, when children bite other people, not just their toys and food, the behavior needs to addressed. Research shows that such biting is “normal,” or expected behavior, for the 10% to 15% of children who are born with emotionally intense temperaments. (Biters may have other inborn temperament traits, including a very sensitive body, shyness in new situations and difficulty with both unexpected changes and routine transitions.) For children who are emotionally intense, all feelings are strong; there are no small events in their lives. Everything is either wonderful or terrible. Furthermore, because of their strong emotions, their jaws also react strongly, whether they feel happy or upset. Parents of such children sometimes report that even a loving hug or a kiss can end up leaving teeth marks, because the child gets so excited by the joy of being close.

Not surprisingly, intense children are especially inclined to bite before they can talk – before they can use words to express their strong feelings. Because their feelings are so intense, these children may be three years old or even older before they get their instinctive biting completely under control. Caregivers, be they parents or child care providers, need to show biters alternative ways to deal with intense feelings. First and foremost, carefully observe the biter. Try to identify when and why the biting happens. Once you find a behavior pattern, use the chart below to develop a response.

Reasons for Biting

Teething, Exploration, Jaw exercise (oral stimulation)

Ways to Help

• Provide teething rings or an apple piece tied in a piece of cloth, etc. (first put apple in the refrigerator, not the freezer, to make more soothing).
• Provide rubber spatulas and rubber toys to bite.
• Tie a bracelet of rubber tubing around the child’s wrist or use a special, soft whistle (www.chewytubes.com or (207) 741-2443).
• Teach “lick it, don’t bite it” for less sturdy objects.
• When the child is calm, practice appropriate biting: “Let’s practice biting things that are OK to bite. Can we bite this ...?

Reasons for Biting

Release physical energy

Ways to Help

Provide lots of big muscle play, such as running, climbing, riding tricycles, hammering, playdough, etc.

Reasons for Biting

Excited affection/social contact

Ways to Help

Teach gentle touching. Say “hug and hum” (to keep that mouth busy!). Remove and redirect.