Parenting Your Net Generation Child or Adolescent (continued)
- Punishment is rarely effective on its own. In order for it to be effective you must be vigilant about finding behaviors where you can compliment your teenager. It is called “catching them being good.” Practice noticing when they do what you want them to do even if it is something as simple as making their bed. The more you positively reinforce good behaviors, the less you will have bad behaviors to punish.
- Encourage your children’s good behavior by modeling your own good behavior. If you want them to limit their time on the Internet, make sure that you are not modeling counteractive behaviors by spending hours in front of the television or computer or on the telephone.
- Monitor your children’s sleep habits as they are often indicative of the impact of spending too much time immersed in an electronic world. Many teens consume caffeinated drinks just to stay awake and talk online until the wee hours of the morning. Stay alert for any behavioral changes.
- If at all possible, put the computer in a common area. Research shows that having a computer in a child’s bedroom is directly related to more time spent online and more problem online behaviors. If you must put the computer in your child’s bedroom, have an open door policy that grants you the privilege to enter at any time and watch what he or she is doing. Be aware that your teen may be very adept at switching screens as you come near the computer so make sure that you set proactive consequences for this kind of subterfuge.
Parenting is not an easy job and the rapid pace of technological change makes it even more difficult. Sadly, children do not come with an instruction manual (although it would be obsolete quickly anyway). You were raised in one world and your children exist in another very different one. The tools your parents used to guide you may not work well with your Net Generation children. Teens live immersed in technology that guides their daily activities and consumes their time. They multitask in ways that make most of our heads spin. It is a new world, one that is so radically different than it was just a few years ago. Maintain your flexibility and sense of humor. It will make it easier to become a better Proactive and Reactive Parent. And above all, remember to TALK to your children.
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Reprinted with the permission of Dr. Larry D. Rosen. © 1997-2008 Larry D. Rosen, Ph.D.
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