Parenting Multiples

Every book on parenting will tell you that life forever changes after the birth of a child. Parents of twins or higher-order multiples (triplets or more) can feel as if they've left the hospital and arrived home on a different planet.

Yet multiple births are more common than ever before, as more couples have babies later in life, and turn to fertility treatments, both of which increase the chances of having multiples. The number of twin and higher-order multiple births has climbed at a rapid pace over the last 2 decades.

Between 1980 and 2000, the number of twin births in the United States increased 74%, and the number of higher order multiples (triplets or more) increased fivefold, according to the National Center for Health Statistics. Today, about 3% of babies in the U.S. are born in sets of two, three, or more. Most of these multiple births (about 95%), are twins.

The arrival of multiple newborns presents certain medical, logistical, financial, and emotional challenges for a family, but with the increasing number of families with twins, triplets, quadruplets and more there has also been an increase in resources to provide help for those families. Often, parents who are expecting multiples find that other families who have been through the experience can be a great help.

What Changes With the Birth of Multiples?

Some of the differences in lifestyle that multiple births will require are easy to anticipate. Standards for household neatness will likely have to relax for a few years, unless you can afford to hire a housecleaner. You'll be getting a lot less sleep, with multiple babies requiring frequent feeding and care at night.

The financial impact can also be significant. Any costs associated with newborns - for diapers, clothing, food and medication, high chair, toys, car seats, etc., are exponentially higher. Even the cost of health care for the delivery of twins is four times higher than it is with a single birth. Add to this the cost of needed extra living space, a larger vehicle, and possibly part-time help in the home. One partner may even need to give up an income to stay home and take care of the children.

In addition, because there is a high rate of disability for kids who are born as part of higher-order births, particularly those who are born premature, it's important to consider the possibility of having to deal with caring for a lifelong disability of one of the children.

Though some stores give discounts for families who have twins or higher-order multiples, larger-scale donations of formula and diapers from major manufacturers are more rare than they once were. At the same time, family and friends with babies, social service agencies, non-profit groups, and support groups can be good sources of hand-me-downs, and can help you meet the needs of your babies.

Some changes may come as more of a surprise. Having less time for each individual baby can make you feel guilty or sad. These emotions can become even more complex if you already have other children. Any stress and fatigue associated with caring for your kids can sometimes have an impact on your relationship with your partner.

Yet despite all of the challenges, multiples also bring great rewards. You'll get the unique chance to love several babies at once and marvel at the relationship between them, which is a very special one. And there's a fascination surrounding multiples that is hard to deny.