Parenting Multiples (continued)

Multiple Baby Basics

When caring for multiple babies, it's important to recognize the need to recruit extra arms to help. Some families hire help, some rely on volunteered time from extended family members, neighbors, fellow parishoners, or support groups for parents of multiples. Before your child is born, it's a good idea to think about the level of help, the source of help, and the nature of help that would feel the most comfortable for you and your family.

Volunteers could bring food, bathe babies, shop, clean, or babysit while you nap or get out of the house. They can even run errands for you. It's important to think about how comfortable you'll feel having lots of other caretakers in the house, which can compromise your feeling of intimacy and privacy with your family.

And even though there's no one right way to raise your multiples, it might help to see what other parents have done. Look for a support group for parents of multiples in your town.

When you're setting up your network of volunteers, it's also important to keep in mind the health of your newborns. Infants born prematurely can be particularly vulnerable to respiratory syncytial virus (or RSV), a flu-like illness which can be highly contagious and cause serious health problems. It's a good idea to set up handwashing procedures and other safety precautions around the house for any volunteers. It's also important that your caregivers be familiar with any medical problems that the infants might have.

Feeding will consume a large chunk of each day. Multiples have been both breast- and bottle-fed successfully and each approach has passionate advocates. Breast-feeding offers nutritional and immunological benefits, and is easier on the pocketbook. It works because the lactating breast functions according to the laws of supply and demand. The more your babies nurses, the more milk the mother's body produces. If you choose to breast-feed, it's a good idea to seek help from a lactation consultant. It's possible to nurse two babies simultaneously, but it may take some time to master. A lactation consultant can show you basic positions to help you nurse your babies either two at a time or singly. A nursing pillow designed for twins may also be helpful. It may also be helpful to pump and store breast milk, so that Dad or other caregivers can help with the feedings.

Bottle-feeding may take some of the pressure off exhausted mothers, especially if you have more than 2 infants to feed. Some mothers use a combination of breast- and bottle-feeding, to keep some of the benefits of nursing while still getting help with the feeding. Whatever way you choose to feed your babies, you may want to track the feeding schedule on a bulletin board to make sure every baby gets enough.

• Bathing multiple babies can be quite a challenge. Some parents bathe their children separately in the interests of both safety and one-on-one time. For higher-order multiples, though, this may be impractical. Your best bet is to recruit some help during bathtime. When the infants are older, it will become easier to bath more than one at a time.
• Dressing your babies in the first few months doesn't have to be a big production. Some parents color code wardrobes to see at a glance whose clothes belong to whom. It may make sense to have multiples share some basic items of clothing, such as sleepers. As the babies get older, it becomes more important to give your children their own clothes and establish their unique identities.
• Sleeping is necessary for your sanity! Call on your helpers so you can get an occasional nap. Even if you get your babies on a synchronized sleep schedule, you'll only get a few hours of sleep at a time. This will not give you the resources you need to care for your babies.

Many parents alternate "night shift" feedings and take turns napping. You might also consider waking and feeding all the babies when one wakes up in the night. This helps you coordinate your babies' schedule and minimize your wakeups.