Persuading Your Parents: You Want to Study Where?!

2. Inevitably, your parents will have mixed feelings about your travel abroad.

Rebecca Schultz speaks for many of the parents we talked with when she says: "I guess the tough thing for me is that you raise children to be independent and have their own ideas, and when they do, it's very frightening."

Parents have always wanted their children to have the things they didn't have. But if your parents haven't studied overseas, or even gotten out of the country more than a few times on vacations, they won't have any direct experience of what you'll be undertaking. With the right spin, you can get that situation working for you.

"It gets a lot different as you get older," one mother laments, "you have so many other responsibilities. Those days of being able to study abroad get farther and farther away." Missing her own chance was sufficient reason for this mother to encourage her son on his global adventure.

"This is our oldest son," Eric Kofmehl says of Havana-bound Scott.

"I guess in the field that he's chosen — international politics and economics — these are the types of opportunities you need to take advantage of. It's his life and he needs to lead it, and we've always encouraged whatever he's wanted to go for."

3. Dispel myths and prejudices

Treat your parents' ideas respectfully, even if they seem out of date.

If your parents remember a time when the country you're visiting was a Cold War enemy, part of an "evil empire," gently remind them that the world is changing. Supply hard facts.

Their concerns about your safety and health will be amplified by what they see in the media. You can tell them that war, famine and genocide are horrible anomalies, not the status quo on the entire African continent, or in the nations of former Yugoslavia, to give just two examples.

Despite what we see on television, voters, and not troops, are more likely than ever to herald a change of government in the world's capitals. Tell your parents that going abroad gives you the opportunity to observe democracy in action - at a safe distance, when necessary.

4. Keep talking about issues like safety, health insurance, and medical evacuation insurance

When Neil Walsh of Long Island, N.Y. told his dad about plans to study Japanese in Tokyo, the first reaction was, "I can't get in my car and drive to Tokyo and pick you up if there's an earthquake, or a problem, or whatever."

Allay these fears by working with your parents to get health insurance that will cover you in an emergency while you are abroad. Also, think about another type of insurance, which will whisk you home if your parents feel you're not getting adequate health care in your host country.

5. Show them the money

Let your parents know two things:

1. If you can get significant scholarship support, they may not have to increase their overall contribution to your education, even though you're going to study outside the country for a summer, a semester, or a year.

2. You may still ask them to help with some expenses that aren't covered by scholarship funding.

Neil Walsh told us that his Boren Scholarship and a Freeman Foundation-ASIA award will pay the bulk of his expenses in Japan. But his dad, a house painter, seemed proud to be making his own financial contribution to the cause.

Scholarships, dad says, will need to be supplemented by "a couple of paint jobs … trust me." He adds,

"Tokyo is the most expensive city in the world to live in, which I just saw on television a couple of days ago. So I'm sure I'll have to send money over, but regardless, it's a very good opportunity."

Sidebars

4 More Items You Might be Interested In:

Your parents will be pleased to know that in accepting a David L. Boren Scholarship or Fellowship, you're joining an elite group of students interested in global issues and international careers.

Planning ahead for contingencies with proper insurance helped Mark Setzler make a success of his study in Brazil.

If your parents are anxious about having you leave home, explain that you'll be checking in with our embassy once you arrive at your campus abroad. And when you get back home, Uncle Sam may want you to put your language skills to work.

Perhaps it wasn't true for your parents, but these days success in business and international trade often requires global knowledge and experience.

More Tips to Persuade Your Parents

Explain how your program outside the U.S. is vital to your academic and career goals, and helps you make a contribution to the country.

Deluge your parents with information about where you're going and why it's safe.

Your parents may be worried that your college education will be derailed if you spend time abroad. Reassure them.

Share information from professors, advisors, and students who have had positive international experiences. If your peers and their folks will cooperate, encourage parent-to-parent dialogue.

Explore this website with your parents. Show them the successes and adventures of your peers.

When you finally convince them, don't forget to write!